Stripping Puppet (song)
#1
Stripping Puppet

A stripping puppet dancing on your own
A stripping puppet dancing on your own

Thinner than our threads that used to fit,
we make up so you can leave again,
taxi into town a burned out clown,
tumble till the neon shuts you down.

Restless hands beat rhythms on my chair,
pretending to myself that you still care.
I can only walk the worn out floor,
a dog that waits behind a nightclub door.

Taking turns to spin you on your stool,
playthings pass the parcel as you drool,
stretching alter neck goes out of shape,
grace is sipped away without a trace.

Morning milk clinks early in the street,
guilt has ploughed a furrow for your feet,
clatter bangs the door with no surprise,
another night of chewed and swallowed pride.

A stripping puppet dancing on your own
A stripping puppet dancing on your own
A stripping puppet dancing on your own

If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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#2
Hey Keith, I love this wild girlfriend of yours! She would be my downfall of course. Nice way to repurpose the title and some of themes from an earlier post. I dig your voice, but you need to turn up your mike and lower the guitar amp a bit. The only bump that I noticed was in stanza 3. The 'Taking turns' line was lagging behind the music and the 'grace' line had to be stretched a bit. However, it may have been just a timing issue. Cool man!/Chris
My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris
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#3
Wow Keith what an incredibly interesting reworking of the original poem!

My immediate feeling is that I like this one slightly better, because the story is more straightforward. The music wasn't particularly inspiring in its repetitiveness. But I'm sure that's not the final record. ;p

Anyway I'm not sure I have much constructive to say, except that I was pleasantly surprised to see this resurface, in an unexpected sort of way.

-justcloudy
_______________________________________
The howling beast is back.
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#4
(02-02-2014, 02:51 AM)ChristopherSea Wrote:  Hey Keith, I love this wild girlfriend of yours! She would be my downfall of course. Nice way to repurpose the title and some of themes from an earlier post. I dig your voice, but you need to turn up your mike and lower the guitar amp a bit. The only bump that I noticed was in stanza 3. The 'Taking turns' line was lagging behind the music and the 'grace' line had to be stretched a bit. However, it may have been just a timing issue. Cool man!/Chris

Hi Chris
Please don't think I'm taking myself too seriously with this I love music but a musician I am not, although it is good to have fun with things, and using the poem gives it a bit more life. I will have another go at the lyric but it is hard to keep time. Best Keith

(02-02-2014, 10:24 AM)justcloudy Wrote:  Wow Keith what an incredibly interesting reworking of the original poem!

My immediate feeling is that I like this one slightly better, because the story is more straightforward. The music wasn't particularly inspiring in its repetitiveness. But I'm sure that's not the final record. ;p

Anyway I'm not sure I have much constructive to say, except that I was pleasantly surprised to see this resurface, in an unexpected sort of way.

-justcloudy

I think it could be that because you already understood the poem it was clearer done this way.

Lol I agree the music is pretty repetitive and uninspiring, I was going for an eighty's rock sound Hysterical

If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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#5
Enjoyed your effort very much Keith, a few more takes and a bit more clarity and I reckon you would rocket into No1!

Cheers! Big Grin
Oh what a wicket web we weave!
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#6
(02-16-2014, 03:20 PM)Ambwee Wrote:  "A stripping puppet dancing on your own "

Big Grin

(02-16-2014, 05:23 PM)popeye Wrote:  Enjoyed your effort very much Keith, a few more takes and a bit more clarity and I reckon you would rocket into No1!

Cheers! Big Grin

Thanks Popeye but I don't think I could handle all the sex and drugs although a couple more takes wouldn't hurt who knows I might even be able to come in at the right point. Big Grin

If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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