King's Decree

[SilverMire]

Acknowledged truths accept that power sits
Atop the corps, a solo entity
That rarely ever honour more resists.
Near every day. The norm for you and me.

A starrèd face is nought without a heart;
A heart’s surrounds redundant less a head;
An eye of higher glory from the start
Neglects the roots below which wove its thread.

And so to higher recognition gain
One must appeal to more than common wit -
A thing which morphs controversy to fame -
Results a rife, posthumous, textbook git.

Authorities that distance few from most
Show not the worth of power binding close.

[ScurryFunger]

Acknowledged truths accept that power sits
Atop the corps, a solo entity
That rarely ever honour more resists.
Near every day. The norm for you and me.

A starrèd face is nought without a heart;
A heart’s surrounds redundant less a head;
An eye of higher glory from the start
Neglects the roots below which wove its thread.

And so to higher recognition gain
One must appeal to more than common wit -
A thing which morphs controversy to fame -
Results a rife, posthumous, textbook git.

Authorities that distance few from most
Show not the worth of power binding close.

excellent use of the mark that you used above starred (I rubbed the screen to check that it was real)

I'm not saying it's cheating, persé... (ha)

Power is in charge of all the corps, surely. Well, apart from the ones that are thinking of staging a coup.

I counted the sylables for every line on my fingers and then I thought perhaps I should have read the words.

;o)



It's just my interpretation,,,, running away with me.

[rowens]

This sounds like something a king might say in a nonsense story. Was it meant that way? Or is it serious?

A starrèd face is nought without a heart;
A heart’s surrounds redundant less a head;

[Snowbells]

In form it looks like a sonnet, but its wording is somewhat unclear, even unnatural. As the name "sonnet" in the translation suggests, this poetry form is "a little song." As such, it should be free of twisted sentences (inverted word order). Part of line 11 needs to be restructured. Also, gain and fame? "Starred" is correct, but do you need that little scratch above the "e") J.

[oldstoner]

I really like your poetry, your style is like mine. Good Job

[Leanne]

I really like your poetry, your style is like mine. Good Job

Perhaps you could try to be a bit more specific in a critique? You might find threads such as Giving Critique and Feedback helpful.

[Truerenigma]

starrèd?

Is this a Gerard Manley Hopkins parody?

It's a bit more in the style of William Topaz McGonagall.