Evolving
#1
yes, i'll hold your hair back,
you sweet thing, you cute little whimsy,
so you can throw up your nerve,
with the price of your stomach wide open
to tax and stress and bleach stained heartstrings.
ok fine, ...you'll be? i'll make it all right.

i'll glow with English pastoral settings,
and burn underneath with this country's secrets;
dark, raw odds and ends, that make up the whole.
and carrions i shoot with seeds from my pupils.
and dogs i track home on your mom's carpet.
i can hold the stench while tangled up in your wild hair,
as long as it lasts, if you don't become a spider all at once;
if you let me die only with that slow poison within us.

i find a opossum in the mailbox of all your exloves,
and extinct hunters in their family man attire,
all dirt and no play, with the straight faced wives
you'd never be.
you had never been so bored? -

what is this love for you,
and why?
what is it,
some form that has taken shape.
a caterpillar becomes a butterfly:
and a butterfly it is.
there are plenty of reasons,
none are good enough.
God, self, love; all things that took form.
all of them justified by the most unjustifiable thing in the world,
the individual need.

i can't keep a scene going,
through my eyes,
no, no, you need love for that;
balance, that's all it is.
-it might be cool for you,
but it's not good for you;
and you're a sucker for the good,
no matter how you blow your smoke.
an outdated ideal Romantic, you.
you got love like chancre sores,
if only it exhaled habitual smoke.

the only beauty i find in the male body
is the feminine;
so i strike as your antagonist,
ugly, hard, textured, fearless:
fear is for survival.
i want none of it.
love is death,
if done right.

you, Einstein's ideal-smooth universe personified;
the only dancing stars yet, are what
you see before your eyes when you're dizzy.
-the chaos lies below, but in the mind.
all in your head.
-you never earned your grace;
the choreographed carvings from madness...
you are a mad herd, a delicate cluster.
nothing took God from you.
no one brought it either.

But I can touch a man's body far better
Than I can an industry;
And machines sicken me as much as designs.
What I don't want is a culture: -
And a mangy little love that chases after all,
With need of responsive affection from all,
Like a cat in need to run, dog-like and foolish,
After every car, not barring a crush, and a death,
And a trail of blood and guts, slid, slipshod and wishy-
Washy, across the open road.

No, don't need it. I want all or nothing,
But I won't settle for nothing.
You understand?
I'm not God, I forgive nor wrath around a planet
Made of imaginary boundaries:
It's too much to waste on faithless diplomacies.
You get it and you don't go anywhere;
Or you don't, and it's just another
Fine line drawn in the sand.

But I use sand to dream, and so should
You. You don't have dreams any more?
You should.
I have them in abundance.
From the looks of them,
I think I'm having yours too.

I see love reinvented,
Nothing classic or religious about it;
Unless a bit Romantic,
When the time comes to grab your arm
And pull you into the future,
Where I've made things, and waited,
More human than human;
Set against a backdrop, all earth and stars and reason.
There has to be a reason.

A purpose.
More than any one man can say,
Unless his lifetime is made important:
By a love, a death, an invention
All his own, and yours…
For it was you that started it,
That inserted the poison,
That needed the new way to communicate.

It takes a long time to live;
You have to pull a rabbit out of a hat,
And put on fucking magic tricks,
If you can't teach her the trigonometry of your faithfulness
The first go round.
But that's love, she says.
You don't know yet, but that's what it means.
It doesn't mean anything.
-and you won't learn anything if you don't stop trying
So hard to be one with the nothingness you love
More than any man since…

Everything is a pious little lie, for a Christ
That has no cross to bear.
If every Buddha was a Mozart,
We'd have no reason, no reason at all, to go on.
Just sit in the pleasant little cabinet of your discontent;
Without a garden, or a cow, or even a horse,
But little like a voice, a scattered ego laying on the spotless
Bed of love lost, too long ago,
To even give a good shit.
Whether you're sick or not…

Come, and give a little more.
Now before it gets too dry to grow
Anymore teardrop glistening moods
And prism opening vistas to stars unheard
In the spheric sounds of dimensions felt
In human bodies under tension
Of a falling star exploding in the vat.
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#2
Well that was interesting Smile, and not at all what I expected from reading the first stanza... it goes to some wildly different places. I enjoyed the read Smile
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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#3
at first i thought it was going to be about the tree of knowledge.
apart from wanting to read it a few more times. i can only say wtf?
an excellent read that's a bit dizzying. is it me or is it an agnostic Smile


thanks for the read
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#4
wow. first read, this is a fine one, a beauty.

My favorite parts so far:

i want none of it.
love is death,
if done right

What I don't want is a culture: -
And a mangy little love that chases after all,
With need of responsive affection from all,
Like a cat in need to run, dog-like and foolish,
After every car, not barring a crush, and a death,
And a trail of blood and guts, slid, slipshod and wishy-
Washy, across the open road.


But I use sand to dream, and so should
You. You don't have dreams any more?
You should.
I have them in abundance.
From the looks of them,
I think I'm having yours too.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

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#5
Some of the older poems on here have been revised. Some of them have had certain things changed or fixed.

This one hasn't changed much.
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#6
(12-19-2013, 10:29 PM)rowens Wrote:  Some of the older poems on here have been revised. Some of them have had certain things changed or fixed.

This one hasn't changed much.

I'm reading them for enjoyment and writing inspiration with no intention of critiquing.

I hope you don't mind the comments on older work. I won't bump anything in the workshops.Smile
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

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#7
This poem is on here again somewhere. At first I wanted the lowercase lines through part of the poem. But later I changed that. And maybe one other thing.

I don't have a problem looking at any of them. But many of my poems on this site made me feel physically ill. So I just waited before going back to them, if I went back at all.

Now I don't feel sick about any of them, so you can say whatever you want.
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#8
(12-19-2013, 11:03 PM)rowens Wrote:  This poem is on here again somewhere. At first I wanted the lowercase lines through part of the poem. But later I changed that. And maybe one other thing.

I don't have a problem looking at any of them. But many of my poems on this site made me feel physically ill. So I just waited before going back to them, if I went back at all.

Now I don't feel sick about any of them, so you can say whatever you want.

Glad to hear you're feeling better.Smile Thanks for the go ahead, I already bite my tongue enough.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

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#9
I don't feel better, only different.
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#10
Moving on from sick, even sad is better.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

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#11
No, sad is boring. Sick is interesting but gets you in trouble.
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#12
Well, moving on from sadness to the little joys can open up a whole new can of unboring, with just a worm or 2 in there. Smile
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

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#13
I think embarrassment is a useful tool.

I'm a big advocate of intense embarrassment, and the altered states it throws you into.
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#14
(12-20-2013, 12:31 AM)rowens Wrote:  I think embarrassment is a useful tool.

I'm a big advocate of intense embarrassment, and the altered states it throws you into.

Big Grin Joy and embarrassment can be a stimulating mix.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

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#15
I was waking up every morning after drinking all night and feeling not hungover but sick with embarrassment for things I'd said and done. After a while, I was feeling that way without being able to recall anything particular to be embarrassed about even though I remembered everything. So I did an experiment: I got drunk and sat alone in my room all night not doing anything. And the next morning I felt so embarrassed and ashamed of myself for things that I couldn't place. All day I kept getting that sick feeling of shame about that specific thing I did, and then realized I couldn't think of anything I'd done. Drinking itself wasn't it. It wasn't something from the past, it was something fresh.

But forget all that. Some French guy said joy is nothing more than a vulgar ornament. And I feel that way a lot.
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#16
I have nothing against vulgar ornaments.

I found the other Evolving.

It's a video, I can't listen now but I enjoyed the visuals. Nice selection and a couple of vulgar grins.Big Grin
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

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#17
I just made a few videos of poems so that the screen wouldn't be blank all the time.
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