Senryu

[Keith]

Doves dog-fight in flight,
brooding favours the brave,
white feathers fall.

[billy]

aren't they both brave?

[Keith]

aren't they both brave?

yes but nature dictates one must play the coward and walk away

[billy]

and if one dies okay i'm yanking chains.

for me it reads as more senryu because of the second line.
the fighting being the moment in time.

what is a a female dove called?

a suggestion would be
the hen awaits winner or something like

the best line is the last as it's an image of the fight and of the sex afterwards

[Lizzie]

Doves dog fight in flight,
brooding favours the brave,
white feathers falling.

It would ease the reading of the first line to hyphenate dog and fight: dog-fight. It's probably just me, but I get tripped up with doves and dog seeming momentarily to fight for position.

I think you can drop the commas altogether.

Since it doesn't seem like you're going for 5-7-5, I think you can just say "white feathers fall" in the last line.

Nicely done, Keith.

[Keith]

Doves dog fight in flight,
brooding favours the brave,
white feathers falling.

It would ease the reading of the first line to hyphenate dog and fight: dog-fight. It's probably just me, but I get tripped up with doves and dog seeming momentarily to fight for position.

I think you can drop the commas altogether.

Since it doesn't seem like you're going for 5-7-5, I think you can just say "white feathers fall" in the last line.

Nicely done, Keith.

Hey Lizzie
Sorry I completely missed your comments, thanks for digging this one up, I like your suggestions so I did a quick edit, much appreciated. Best Keith