|
blush (senryu)
|
07-28-2013, 10:19 AM
summer romance drips
the taste of moon in my mouth under your sky-map
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
07-28-2013, 10:23 AM
mmmm
i can't help wondering what sky-map is 
07-28-2013, 10:33 AM
It's a bit of skin and freckles I'm afraid
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
07-28-2013, 10:35 AM
i though it was something like that
07-28-2013, 06:00 PM
So it's about getting under someone's skin? It seems to me as if there are several ideas pulling in different directions here. Not sure if they should all squash in the same poem.... however, I like the separate elements.
(07-28-2013, 10:19 AM)Aish Wrote: summer romance drips
08-01-2013, 03:29 PM
(07-28-2013, 06:00 PM)soonforgotten? Wrote: So it's about getting under someone's skin? It seems to me as if there are several ideas pulling in different directions here. Not sure if they should all squash in the same poem.... however, I like the separate elements. It isn't intended to be about getting under someones skin. The reader completes the artistic process, so I would love to know how and where this piece diverges for you since you said it comes across as several ideas pulling in different directions. For me there is only one idea/theme, but I value my readers and their input. Please let me know where this fails.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
08-05-2013, 08:06 AM
it does if you've just had a blow job
|
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
