The Dark Knight

[jdguyb]

The Dark Knight

His hands are malice
His desires are pure evil
He grasps his dark sword
A sword of dark magic
He fights against the forces of light
To achieve total domination
He would be a ruler of evil
His crown would be black
He would sit on a throne of bone
The bones of his enemies
The bones of the good
Slaughtered in his quest for power
He could never achieve enough
For his dark rage is inextinguishable

[Volaticus]

Hi,
I wonder if there's a reason that you left out any sorts of punctuation?
It would make it easier to read with some commas and periods.
Best,
LB

[billy]

i know it's about a comic book hero and that possible lays it open for all the cliche stuff that runs through the poem.
but it doesn't work, the poem feels comicy (is that a word?)

He would sit on a throne of bone

my partner's done the same thing many times over

okay sorry for the wisecrack but it's more or less a list poem of clichés.

[milo]

All the personal pronouns get tedious quick, I would cut as many out as you can. And, yah, the cliches are a deal breaker.

Plus, The Dark Knight is Batman. Don't make me write another Batman and Robin sonnet, it won't be pretty . . .