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EDIT 1
Who has got the crabs?
the rock crabs? stone slabs
slowing rising from the withering earth
below our soft walking carpet.
Sweet grass, the finest of smells
going up my nose to cleanse my
sense of right and rock, yea.
The rock attack crabs.
Crabs, ah everything covering this
so love filled alley. Cats prowl and so do dogs.
Brother move to and flow to the sounds
of the bass below. I wish I could not
be so scared to fill that pinch.
Do crabs of rock love? You
do not know. But even crabs
have makes, you know? So
I bake this crab and eat it once and for all.
Yaw yaw, singing to and fro
about things i have heard of,
things i do not know. Monsters
of the rocks beneath our feet.
just like a rocky character,
you do not want to meet!
So take a seat, and greet
me. Buy me a drink if you will
wait, there it is,
the rock crabs!
this is how you write songs in "the" music "scene" your welcome for the teenagers.....sorry if you infact are a teenager
i run into the scenester problem alot. young girls who simply like music, and want to know more about the scene. what i tell them is my scene is your scene. when you are in a community you are apart of as scene. aka the church scene, the fishing scene ect. it is not about music so much as groups of people
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Bunx
Posts: 574
Threads: 80
Joined: May 2013
(07-04-2013, 01:01 AM)Bunx Wrote: who has got the crabs?
the rock crabs? stone slabs
slowing rising from the withering earth
below of soft walking carpet.
sweet grass, the finest of smells
going up my nose to cleanse my
sense of right and rock, yea.
the rock crabs.
yaw yaw, singing to and fro
about things i have heard of,
things i do not know. monsters
of the rocks beneath of feet.
just like a rocky character,
you do not want to meet!
so take a seat, and greet
me. and buy me a drink if you will
wait, there it is,
the rock crabs!
this is how you write songs in "the" music "scene" your welcome for the teenagers.....sorry if you infact are a teenager
i run into the scenester problem alot. young girls who simply like music, and want to know more about the scene. what i tell them is my scene is your scene. when you are in a community you are apart of as scene. aka the church scene, the fishing scene ect. it is not about music so much as groups of people
I would put more physical description in the poem it confused me a bit.
Posts: 342
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Joined: May 2013
brownlie thanks for the optimistic advise took it hope you enjoy the deed
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Bunx
Posts: 522
Threads: 48
Joined: Nov 2012
Hi Bunx,
Sorry if i'm a bit slow on the uptake here. Is this actually a song lyric you have posted (and if so have you set it to music).
As a poem i got a bit lost a couple of the lines (but that could just be me).
I loved all of the second stanza. Then "Even crabs have makes" ...confused me (was it mates or am I just out of the loop).
This felt like a fun read I particularly like the play on words :Brother move to and flow to the sounds of the bass below. And: cleanse my sense of right and rock,. Nicely done.
missemilyrose
Unregistered
Hey,
Yeah I wasn't sure what you meant about the "makes" either, but i really like this theme, reminds be of the song Rock Lobster.
Maybe try re-working the first few verses as the the 2nd 2 really work and are fun, a bit more clear. You could probably make the images into something a bit more tangible.
Good luck!!
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Joined: Jun 2013
(07-04-2013, 01:01 AM)Bunx Wrote: EDIT 1
Who has got the crabs? love this beginning
the rock crabs? stone slabs
slowing rising from the withering earth
below our soft walking carpet.
Sweet grass, the finest of smells
going up my nose to cleanse my
sense of right and rock, yea.
The rock attack crabs.
Crabs, ah everything covering this. these first two lines seem to lack rhythm
so love filled alley. Cats prowl and so do dogs.
Brother move to and flow to the sounds
of the bass below. I wish I could not
be so scared to fill that pinch. nice, fun description of wanting to get cosy with a crab. 
Do crabs of rock love? You
do not know. But even crabs
have makes, you know? So
I bake this crab and eat it once and for all.
Yaw yaw, singing to and fro
about things i have heard of,
things i do not know. Monsters
of the rocks beneath our feet.
just like a rocky character,
you do not want to meet!
So take a seat, and greet
me. Buy me a drink if you will
wait, there it is,
the rock crabs!
this is how you write songs in "the" music "scene" your welcome for the teenagers.....sorry if you infact are a teenager
i run into the scenester problem alot. young girls who simply like music, and want to know more about the scene. what i tell them is my scene is your scene. when you are in a community you are apart of as scene. aka the church scene, the fishing scene ect. it is not about music so much as groups of people
I wrote a poem in 2003 called The Scene Crab. Maybe you channeled it.
Posts: 342
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Joined: May 2013
man! im original! ya'lls dawgs.
good hearing from you rowens. as usual
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Bunx
The poems have nothing to do with each other.
Posts: 342
Threads: 206
Joined: May 2013
true. i just wanted to sound hip
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Bunx
