Crab-stick Wrappers (Therapy)

[tectak]

Collecting crab-stick wrappers helped. I wasn’t very well.
I stuck them all in albums, and named them; I could tell
it made me feel more confident, better everyday.
Though some had passed their smell by date I kept them anyway.

I advertised them on the net, a rare and complete set.
I warned against time-wasters to see what price I’d get.
A load of people made low bids but no one said they’d buy
and the postage costs to Ireland were ridiculously high.

I phoned the local daily rag, and told them I was making
a gesture quite invaluable; free and for the taking
to anyone who wanted them, my lifetime’s assignation,
seven thousand crab-stick wraps, donated to the nation.

They printed out my letter twice, I waited for replies.
I wish I’d left out my address, I guess it wasn’t wise. Typo correction. Credit brownlie
Asleep in bed on Friday, I heard something in the night.
It woke me from my dreaming and I fumbled for the light.

Somewhere the sound of breaking glass, a clatter in the hall,
then cursing voices, slamming doors; I heard an engine stall.
A roaring surge and they were gone, and yes, I think you guessed:
they took my whole collection and left me quite depressed.

The cops were kind but passive, though they didn’t really care;
but they took the details of the crime and said that to be fair,
the whole thing seemed quite fishy, then they laughed, I don’t know why.
I didn’t find it funny but I managed not to cry.

It took a week to realise that maybe I could find
crab-stick wrappers on the net! How could I be so blind?
I banged the keys in e-bay search, and there before my eyes,
were crabs for sale and sticks for sale, listed as Best Buys.

With mounting joy I scanned the list for “wrappers” and guess what?
“Wrappers, crab-sticks” popped right up, separate or one lot!
I put an opening bid in, just to see where it would go.
Three-thousand pounds was nice and round, and shouldn't be too low.

Joy of joys, my bid was good, I won the whole shebang
and just today the Postman called, not in his normal van.
We loaded out the albums and stacked them in the street;
the guy next door helped get them in, they didn’t like the heat.

So here I am, a happy man, the albums I’m unpacking.
This sticky tape is real tough stuff; frenzied, I am hacking
madly through bubble wrap! With glee, at last, I free it!
Hmm, it seems familiar….but then all at once I see it.

I’m sitting in my corner and I’m rocking once again.
I don’t know how I’m feeling yet, I can’t engage my brain.
I guess I should be happy but it’s far too soon to say.
At least I’ve got my albums back…thanks a lot, e-bay.

Tectak 2013

[Brownlie]

Collecting crab-stick wrappers helped. I wasn’t very well.
I stuck them in an album, and named them; I could tell
it made me feel more confident, better everyday.
Though some had passed their smell by date I kept them anyway.

I advertised them on the net, a rare and complete set.
I warned against time-wasters to see what price I’d get.
A load of people made low bids but no one said they’d buy
and the postage costs to Ireland were ridiculously high.

I phoned the local daily rag, and told them I was making
a gesture quite invaluable; free and for the taking
to anyone who wanted them, my lifetime’s assignation,
seven thousand crab-stick wraps, donated to the nation.

They printed out my letter twice, I waited for replies.
I wish I’d left out my address, it guess it wasn’t wise.-- it guess it wasn't wise?
Asleep in bed on Friday, I heard something in the night.
It woke me from my dreaming and I fumbled for the light. - nice rhyme but also somewhat clichéd, but there is no Yoda speak and the lines continue the story.
Somewhere the sound of breaking glass, a clatter in the hall,--Something awkward here maybe adding I heard would clear it up or "I heard the sound of glass breaking"
then cursing voices, slamming doors; I heard an engine stall.
A roaring surge and they were gone, and yes, I think you guessed:
they took my whole collection and left me quite depressed. --That really sucks My grandfather had his coin collection stolen.

The cops were kind but passive, though they didn’t really care;
but they took the details of the crime and said that to be fair,
the whole thing seemed quite fishy, then they laughed, I don’t know why. -- Damn heartless cops and their jaded puns.I didn’t find it funny but I managed not to cry.

It took a week to realise that maybe I could find
crab-stick wrappers on the net! How could I be so blind?
I banged the keys in e-bay search, and there before my eyes,
were crabs for sale and sticks for sale, listed as Best Buys.

With mounting joy I scanned the list for “wrappers” and guess what?
“Wrappers, crab-sticks” popped right up, separate or one lot!
I put an opening bid in, just to see where it would go.
Three-thousand pounds was what I felt was reasonably low. -- Same as before rhyming go and low is somewhat cliché but you are continuing the story

Joy of joys, my bid was good, I won the whole shebang
and just today the Postman called, not in his normal van.
We loaded out the albums and stacked them in the street;
the guy next door helped get them in, they didn’t like the heat. -- Maybe include a detail that shows them sweating in the sun instead of saying they didn't like the heat. Of course, that would require to think of a new rhyme

So here I am, a happy man, the albums I’m unpacking.
This sticky tape is real tough stuff; frenzied, I am hacking
madly through bubble wrap! With glee, at last, I free it! -- [b]Love the bubble wrap image
Hmm, it seems familiar….but then all at once I see it.

I’m sitting in my corner and I’m rocking once again.
I don’t know how I’m feeling yet, I can’t engage my brain.
I guess I should be happy but it’s far too soon to say.
At least I’ve got my albums back…thanks a lot, E-bay.

Tectak 2013

What are crab stick wrappers? There are some good parts to this poem you stick with the crab stick wrappers throughout, you had the jaded police officer using a pun and the events say something about human nature. One critique I would add is that your rhymes are quite simple and may seem forced or cliché, but you didn't sporadically throw out rhyme without concern for line length. Hope you edit.

[tectak]

Collecting crab-stick wrappers helped. I wasn’t very well.
I stuck them in an album, and named them; I could tell
it made me feel more confident, better everyday.
Though some had passed their smell by date I kept them anyway.

I advertised them on the net, a rare and complete set.
I warned against time-wasters to see what price I’d get.
A load of people made low bids but no one said they’d buy
and the postage costs to Ireland were ridiculously high.

I phoned the local daily rag, and told them I was making
a gesture quite invaluable; free and for the taking
to anyone who wanted them, my lifetime’s assignation,
seven thousand crab-stick wraps, donated to the nation.

They printed out my letter twice, I waited for replies.
I wish I’d left out my address, it guess it wasn’t wise.-- it guess it wasn't wise?
Asleep in bed on Friday, I heard something in the night.
It woke me from my dreaming and I fumbled for the light. - nice rhyme but also somewhat clichéd, but there is no Yoda speak and the lines continue the story. No. Not cliche. Puerile...but it's nice to hear that there is something not. I have always felt that it was a good idea to have the lines following the story...I'm shallow like that
Somewhere the sound of breaking glass, a clatter in the hall,--Something awkward here maybe adding I heard would clear it up or "I heard the sound of glass breaking" ...except that doesn't scan and "I heard" is on the next line
then cursing voices, slamming doors; I heard an engine stall.
A roaring surge and they were gone, and yes, I think you guessed:
they took my whole collection and left me quite depressed. --That really sucks My grandfather had his coin collection stolen.

The cops were kind but passive, though they didn’t really care;
but they took the details of the crime and said that to be fair,
the whole thing seemed quite fishy, then they laughed, I don’t know why. -- Damn heartless cops and their jaded puns.I didn’t find it funny but I managed not to cry.

It took a week to realise that maybe I could find
crab-stick wrappers on the net! How could I be so blind?
I banged the keys in e-bay search, and there before my eyes,
were crabs for sale and sticks for sale, listed as Best Buys.

With mounting joy I scanned the list for “wrappers” and guess what?
“Wrappers, crab-sticks” popped right up, separate or one lot!
I put an opening bid in, just to see where it would go.
Three-thousand pounds was what I felt was reasonably low. -- Same as before rhyming go and low is somewhat cliché but you are continuing the story No. Not cliche. Puerile. See end. Keep critting

Joy of joys, my bid was good, I won the whole shebang
and just today the Postman called, not in his normal van.
We loaded out the albums and stacked them in the street;
the guy next door helped get them in, they didn’t like the heat. -- Maybe include a detail that shows them sweating in the sun instead of saying they didn't like the heat. Of course, that would require to think of a new rhyme They don't sweat....they are albums.

So here I am, a happy man, the albums I’m unpacking.
This sticky tape is real tough stuff; frenzied, I am hacking
madly through bubble wrap! With glee, at last, I free it! -- Love the bubble wrap image
Hmm, it seems familiar….but then all at once I see it.

I’m sitting in my corner and I’m rocking once again.
I don’t know how I’m feeling yet, I can’t engage my brain.
I guess I should be happy but it’s far too soon to say.
At least I’ve got my albums back…thanks a lot, E-bay.

Tectak 2013

What are crab stick wrappers? There are some good parts to this poem you stick with the crab stick wrappers throughout, you had the jaded police officer using a pun and the events say something about human nature. One critique I would add is that your rhymes are quite simple and may seem forced or cliché, but you didn't sporadically throw out rhyme without concern for line length. Hope you edit.

Hi brownlie,
Yes...it's simple. The rhymes are simple. The intent is simple. It is a simple story. It is in the FUN section. It is for fun
Crab sticks? You know, those pseudo-crustacean fish-finger sized reconstituted day-glo pink salty substitutes for crab that you can buy all over the world. Do you get out much?
They come in packs of a dozen or so, sealed in a kind of Cellophane and you can suck 'em out of the wrapper one at a time or tip the whole lot onto a plate along with slime-filled vol-au-vents, pineapple and cheese on sticks,sausage rolls, crackers with fish paste and an olive et al. The wrappers are all identical...only a nut would collect them!
This is about the nut. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_stick
Best,
tectak

[Brownlie]

Collecting crab-stick wrappers helped. I wasn’t very well.
I stuck them in an album, and named them; I could tell
it made me feel more confident, better everyday.
Though some had passed their smell by date I kept them anyway.

I advertised them on the net, a rare and complete set.
I warned against time-wasters to see what price I’d get.
A load of people made low bids but no one said they’d buy
and the postage costs to Ireland were ridiculously high.

I phoned the local daily rag, and told them I was making
a gesture quite invaluable; free and for the taking
to anyone who wanted them, my lifetime’s assignation,
seven thousand crab-stick wraps, donated to the nation.

They printed out my letter twice, I waited for replies.
I wish I’d left out my address, it guess it wasn’t wise.-- it guess it wasn't wise?
Asleep in bed on Friday, I heard something in the night.
It woke me from my dreaming and I fumbled for the light. - nice rhyme but also somewhat clichéd, but there is no Yoda speak and the lines continue the story. No. Not cliche. Puerile...but it's nice to hear that there is something not. I have always felt that it was a good idea to have the lines following the story...I'm shallow like that
Somewhere the sound of breaking glass, a clatter in the hall,--Something awkward here maybe adding I heard would clear it up or "I heard the sound of glass breaking" ...except that doesn't scan and "I heard" is on the next line
then cursing voices, slamming doors; I heard an engine stall.
A roaring surge and they were gone, and yes, I think you guessed:
they took my whole collection and left me quite depressed. --That really sucks My grandfather had his coin collection stolen.

The cops were kind but passive, though they didn’t really care;
but they took the details of the crime and said that to be fair,
the whole thing seemed quite fishy, then they laughed, I don’t know why. -- Damn heartless cops and their jaded puns.I didn’t find it funny but I managed not to cry.

It took a week to realise that maybe I could find
crab-stick wrappers on the net! How could I be so blind?
I banged the keys in e-bay search, and there before my eyes,
were crabs for sale and sticks for sale, listed as Best Buys.

With mounting joy I scanned the list for “wrappers” and guess what?
“Wrappers, crab-sticks” popped right up, separate or one lot!
I put an opening bid in, just to see where it would go.
Three-thousand pounds was what I felt was reasonably low. -- Same as before rhyming go and low is somewhat cliché but you are continuing the story No. Not cliche. Puerile. See end. Keep critting

Joy of joys, my bid was good, I won the whole shebang
and just today the Postman called, not in his normal van.
We loaded out the albums and stacked them in the street;
the guy next door helped get them in, they didn’t like the heat. -- Maybe include a detail that shows them sweating in the sun instead of saying they didn't like the heat. Of course, that would require to think of a new rhyme They don't sweat....they are albums.

So here I am, a happy man, the albums I’m unpacking.
This sticky tape is real tough stuff; frenzied, I am hacking
madly through bubble wrap! With glee, at last, I free it! -- Love the bubble wrap image
Hmm, it seems familiar….but then all at once I see it.

I’m sitting in my corner and I’m rocking once again.
I don’t know how I’m feeling yet, I can’t engage my brain.
I guess I should be happy but it’s far too soon to say.
At least I’ve got my albums back…thanks a lot, E-bay.

Tectak 2013

What are crab stick wrappers? There are some good parts to this poem you stick with the crab stick wrappers throughout, you had the jaded police officer using a pun and the events say something about human nature. One critique I would add is that your rhymes are quite simple and may seem forced or cliché, but you didn't sporadically throw out rhyme without concern for line length. Hope you edit.

Hi brownlie,
Yes...it's simple. The rhymes are simple. The intent is simple. It is a simple story. It is in the FUN section. It is for fun
Crab sticks? You know, those pseudo-crustacean fish-finger sized reconstituted day-glo pink salty substitutes for crab that you can buy all over the world. Do you get out much?
They come in packs of a dozen or so, sealed in a kind of Cellophane and you can suck 'em out of the wrapper one at a time or tip the whole lot onto a plate along with slime-filled vol-au-vents, pineapple and cheese on sticks,sausage rolls, crackers with fish paste and an olive et al. The wrappers are all identical...only a nut would collect them!
This is about the nut. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_stick
Best,
tectak

Didn't notice this was posted in fun that definitely changes the tone. Your description of them in your comment is magnificent. You're improving my lexicon every day.

[milo]

Collecting crab-stick wrappers helped. I wasn’t very well.
I stuck them in an album, and named them; I could tell
it made me feel more confident, better everyday.
Though some had passed their smell by date I kept them anyway.

I advertised them on the net, a rare and complete set.
I warned against time-wasters to see what price I’d get.
A load of people made low bids but no one said they’d buy
and the postage costs to Ireland were ridiculously high.

I phoned the local daily rag, and told them I was making
a gesture quite invaluable; free and for the taking
to anyone who wanted them, my lifetime’s assignation,
seven thousand crab-stick wraps, donated to the nation.

They printed out my letter twice, I waited for replies.
I wish I’d left out my address, I guess it wasn’t wise. Typo correction. Credit brownlie
Asleep in bed on Friday, I heard something in the night.
It woke me from my dreaming and I fumbled for the light.

Somewhere the sound of breaking glass, a clatter in the hall,
then cursing voices, slamming doors; I heard an engine stall.
A roaring surge and they were gone, and yes, I think you guessed:
they took my whole collection and left me quite depressed.

The cops were kind but passive, though they didn’t really care;
but they took the details of the crime and said that to be fair,
the whole thing seemed quite fishy, then they laughed, I don’t know why.
I didn’t find it funny but I managed not to cry.

It took a week to realise that maybe I could find
crab-stick wrappers on the net! How could I be so blind?
I banged the keys in e-bay search, and there before my eyes,
were crabs for sale and sticks for sale, listed as Best Buys.

With mounting joy I scanned the list for “wrappers” and guess what?
“Wrappers, crab-sticks” popped right up, separate or one lot!
I put an opening bid in, just to see where it would go.
Three-thousand pounds was nice and round, and shouldn't be too low.

Joy of joys, my bid was good, I won the whole shebang
and just today the Postman called, not in his normal van.
We loaded out the albums and stacked them in the street;
the guy next door helped get them in, they didn’t like the heat.

So here I am, a happy man, the albums I’m unpacking.
This sticky tape is real tough stuff; frenzied, I am hacking
madly through bubble wrap! With glee, at last, I free it!
Hmm, it seems familiar….but then all at once I see it.

I’m sitting in my corner and I’m rocking once again.
I don’t know how I’m feeling yet, I can’t engage my brain.
I guess I should be happy but it’s far too soon to say.
At least I’ve got my albums back…thanks a lot, e-bay.

Tectak 2013

Very fun, Tom. I got a couple chuckles out of this.

[tectak]

Collecting crab-stick wrappers helped. I wasn’t very well.
I stuck them in an album, and named them; I could tell
it made me feel more confident, better everyday.
Though some had passed their smell by date I kept them anyway.

I advertised them on the net, a rare and complete set.
I warned against time-wasters to see what price I’d get.
A load of people made low bids but no one said they’d buy
and the postage costs to Ireland were ridiculously high.

I phoned the local daily rag, and told them I was making
a gesture quite invaluable; free and for the taking
to anyone who wanted them, my lifetime’s assignation,
seven thousand crab-stick wraps, donated to the nation.

They printed out my letter twice, I waited for replies.
I wish I’d left out my address, I guess it wasn’t wise. Typo correction. Credit brownlie
Asleep in bed on Friday, I heard something in the night.
It woke me from my dreaming and I fumbled for the light.

Somewhere the sound of breaking glass, a clatter in the hall,
then cursing voices, slamming doors; I heard an engine stall.
A roaring surge and they were gone, and yes, I think you guessed:
they took my whole collection and left me quite depressed.

The cops were kind but passive, though they didn’t really care;
but they took the details of the crime and said that to be fair,
the whole thing seemed quite fishy, then they laughed, I don’t know why.
I didn’t find it funny but I managed not to cry.

It took a week to realise that maybe I could find
crab-stick wrappers on the net! How could I be so blind?
I banged the keys in e-bay search, and there before my eyes,
were crabs for sale and sticks for sale, listed as Best Buys.

With mounting joy I scanned the list for “wrappers” and guess what?
“Wrappers, crab-sticks” popped right up, separate or one lot!
I put an opening bid in, just to see where it would go.
Three-thousand pounds was nice and round, and shouldn't be too low.

Joy of joys, my bid was good, I won the whole shebang
and just today the Postman called, not in his normal van.
We loaded out the albums and stacked them in the street;
the guy next door helped get them in, they didn’t like the heat.

So here I am, a happy man, the albums I’m unpacking.
This sticky tape is real tough stuff; frenzied, I am hacking
madly through bubble wrap! With glee, at last, I free it!
Hmm, it seems familiar….but then all at once I see it.

I’m sitting in my corner and I’m rocking once again.
I don’t know how I’m feeling yet, I can’t engage my brain.
I guess I should be happy but it’s far too soon to say.
At least I’ve got my albums back…thanks a lot, e-bay.

Tectak 2013

Very fun, Tom. I got a couple chuckles out of this.

That is because you see the subtleties you perspicacious fellow!
All for fun.
Best,
Tom

[Leanne]

Oh, those Irish -- they've a nose for a bargain.

The poem has nearly everything. There's the pong of dubious seafood (could just as easily have been crab-flavoured snail, if your crab sticks are the same as ours), the use of several different forms of media and a clever marketing strategy, plus a bit of crime drama. Now, if only you had used irony in some way...

[tectak]

Oh, those Irish -- they've a nose for a bargain.

The poem has nearly everything. There's the pong of dubious seafood (could just as easily have been crab-flavoured snail, if your crab sticks are the same as ours), the use of several different forms of media and a clever marketing strategy, plus a bit of crime drama. Now, if only you had used irony in some way...

Yes, ironic really
I thought I might get a grubbing from the ADD's and the OCD's and the EMO's and the ....well, that lot.So far, so good. Good.

[Leanne]

As long as it's not ELO you should be ok.

[billy]

excellent. tom