I just had to get this one out, let me know how you feel about it

[ccfly]

The Face I See At Night

I see your floating face at night,
gasping for air,
the electronic symphony beeping
around you.

Your skin clinging to your face,
giving it a tight squeeze with every
breath. Pale yellows, purples, greens
and blue. Everything left
but you.

I see your head writhing beside me,
before I fall asleep,
veins throbbing, mouth twitching,
the whites of your eyes,
glow-in-the-dark.

I hear you wheeze, unearthly groan,
decayed skin like wet paper,
clinging to your bones.
Your last memories
spilling out, clumsy.
Did you know what happened to you?

A horrible nightmare inside your head,
With severed limbs and carnage,
With heightened pain and possessed,
like the earth had sucked you in
And we could not pull you out.
We never pulled you out.

[Brownlie]

The Face I See At Night

I see your floating face at night,
gasping for air,
the electronic symphony beeping
around you.

Your skin clinging to your face,
giving it a tight squeeze with every
breath. Pale yellows, purples, greens
and blue. Everything left
but you.

I see your head writhing beside me,
before I fall asleep,
veins throbbing, mouth twitching,
the whites of your eyes,
glow-in-the-dark.

I hear you wheeze, unearthly groan,
decayed skin like wet paper,
clinging to your bones.
Your last memories
spilling out, clumsy.
Did you know what happened to you?

A horrible nightmare inside your head,
With severed limbs and carnage,
With heightened pain and possessed,
like the earth had sucked you in
And we could not pull you out.
We never pulled you out.

Oh my god what happened? I don't know you didn't tell me.

[billy]

keep the feedback in keeping with the forum

[UnicornRainbowCake]

I like the imagery you've created, it's nice and clear, but i fail to see a real story as well. The person could have been in a car crash or they could have had terminal illness. It is very unclear in that sense. Perhaps you want the generalisation, but it doesn't quite give the reader the emotion that it could if you linked it to an event.