Ghost in the Machine Part 2- The Silver Jungle

[James]

24 days, 6 hours, 42 minuets, 12 seconds, that is when the world will end
A moon in slumber, it is a moon, it is my moon
It sleeps on the pillow roof of the vine
It dwells for eternity, for centuries, for seconds
In this nothing I can feel it yearning
In this something I can feel it longing
The thorns became my fingertips
As the dreams became visions
Astronaut your wings have become a silver jungle
The swamps whisper sacred but ripples lie brown
Its tears point to oceans, still yearning
Visions circle a past sky, around the rim of my eye
I can see a world burning

23 days, 0 hours, 0 minuets, 0 seconds, that is when the world will end
Awaken a field, not of orchid
Our slumber turns to wake
Our ghosts become the air
The air, colourless but solid

16 days, 6 hours, 42 minuets, 12 seconds, that is when the world will end
Roaring waves of time leads layer-less taste
A violent sea, is still a grey face
Its eyes, burning but it bleeds
Bleeding rivers but not red
Crystal blue but it is black
Wonder weaves and wonder tracks
Across the wonder tracks lays a quiver
The eternity cycle of the bound infinity rail-rode
Say it says, it is silver

[qwerty_H]

Hey. I like a lot of this, the images mostly. Some doesn't really fit and make sense though. fields of orchids? well, no wonder you don't see them, I don't think orchids really grow in fields. Also, I think the moon yearning and longing is a bit cheesy. Other than that, it all is pretty nice.

Thanks.

-H

[James]

Hey. I like a lot of this, the images mostly. Some doesn't really fit and make sense though. fields of orchids? well, no wonder you don't see them, I don't think orchids really grow in fields. Also, I think the moon yearning and longing is a bit cheesy. Other than that, it all is pretty nice.


Thanks.

-H

The importance of that line wasn't really whether they grow on fields or not, it is what the essence of what it is, it sort of ties in to the grander scheme. But thank you for telling me that it was cheesy, I guess I could change that up a bit, I did write this pretty late at night. If some didn't really make sense or fit then it probably won't if you didn't read part 1, assuming you didn't, if you did than I'd appreciate it if you elaborated on that if you could.
Edit- Okay never mind I see you did, but did you see the edit? Because I continued on with the story in it, there was a second stanza

Thanks for the comment
-James