Hard Worker

[albino-rino-5000]

His back breaks,
his muscles quiver.
His bones quake,
and his body shivers.

A man who seeks an end
to this on going trend.
A branch that bends and bends
until it breaks, impossible to mend.

His palms are dry,
his skin is cracked.
He wonders why,
but still always goes back.

This man is a hard worker
striving to do better,
going further and further.
This man is a hard worker.

[KICKBACK]

I'm not a pro or anything, but I would say this poem lacks "hard work."
I'm not sure I like the first stanza. It seems too bleak. I know the title says "Hard Worker" but this stanza is devoid of any real work. Any one who is any one says they break their back at work even if all they do is Facebook for 8 hours. Oh and believe me, any one also seeks to end the on going trend in Stanza 2 line 1. I dont understand the correlation between a tree branch and the so-called Hard Worker. Again, any one who works will say they have to bend and bend at their job.

In Stanza 3, does he wonder why his palms are dry and skin is cracked? Or does he wonder why he keeps going back to a job that keeps him dry and scaly? Again, it goes back to being just any one. Any one wonders why they do the job they do.

Stanza 4 is about as much effort as you would receive, if confiding with a friend who lies to you. Basically, to me, the very last line is telling me what I want to hear. I don't believe a Hard Worker wants to hear that if he tries harder he'll make it because he's a hard worker. No. I think a Hard Worker knows he is a hard worker and that is the point that you should try to portray.

In the end, I like the idea of writing about a genuine hard worker. Unfortunately, to me, the poem was very lazy.

Perhaps explain a little detail of his day. Something more than "he breaks his back" metaphorically or literally. Heh, he obviously doesn't break his back literally...

[Brownlie]

Read The Jungle by Upton Sinclair

[Catcherin]

I appreciate the sentiment (I think) of grinding out a living as a seemingly disposable tool, whilst simultaneously feeling obliged to give your all as part of your ethic. I do feel however that this poem could use some more context though. At the moment, as well as being fairly basic in its construction (not necessarily a bad thing) it lacks a sense of injustice. It just sounds a bit like somebody moaning. I also think some of the lines could be written in a more pleasing way e.g But still always goes back/But always he goes back. I don't know, same as Kickback, I'm not an expert, just my worthless opinion. Look forward to seeing a revision if you decide to

[albino-rino-5000]

Well Fuck mister kickback I sure did put sometime into this poem, in fact posting it was the only thing in my mind while I was working a tiring 6 to midnight shift. Now lets see here, first paragraph, you disrespect my poem by calling it lazy,and you disrespect me by insinuating that i'm on facebook for eight hours.
Second paragraph, i'm not trying to be special, maybe you find it fun to grab peoples attention and be something that isn't truly you just based on a need for attention. This poem is not supposed to be the most different, I was trying to write something that people can relate to.
Third paragraph, if your poetry really sucks as much as your lying friend analogy, then good luck mother fuck. A hard worker knows he is a hard worker but it is just stupid to only know it but never strive to do better.
In summation you are truly a shit head.
heres another one for you

you are not spock
suck my cock

[rowens]

Some poets don't have real jobs. And some people that do have real jobs are better off staying put. But I don't care.

Do you have any solutions? Or are you just describing a situation?

[qwerty_H]

I guess the poem is written ok, but all the over reaction was a little muc. I mean, when people literally break their backs, they stop working. It feels like it was writtne by someone who never actually worked hard at all! Hard workers generally are just that - hard workers, many revel in it and wear it as a badge of pride.

Thanks
-H

[billy]

Read The Jungle by Upton Sinclair

tell us why/admin

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any more outbreaks like the one removed and you will be banned/admin

[Brownlie]

Read The Jungle by Upton Sinclair

tell us why/admin

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any more outbreaks like the one removed and you will be banned/admin

I'm all too happy to talk about this so here is my ramble...


The Jungle details the life of a lithuanian who leaves a feudal society (where he cannot ascend beyond the class of a peasant) to follow the American dream. However, When Jurgis and his family arrive in Chicago he meets brutal conditions of wage labor in the Meat Packing industry. The first half of this novel is an effective presentation of what it might be like to work in a slaughter house. Sinclair did research on the meat packing industry and uses some in-depth details that make the story appear real.

The book was meant to move readers towards socialism but it ended up establishing the FDA. Unfortunately, the socialist propoganda over saturates the novel towards the end and there is an unrealistic epiphany and happy ending. The second half of the book really recreates the protagonist and makes Jurgis a rather hollow character. Despite the flaws the book accomplishes what I think realists meant to accomplish. It is the narrative of a common character who may not be sung about in older times. This book also questions the American Dream and the idea that success in a capitalistic society is a measure of how hard you work.

One only wonders about factory conditions in newly industrializing countries or of conditions of immigrants coming in from Mexico. Considering these things the novel is still relevant to today.