04-25-2013, 10:11 AM
During, not after
“eenie meenie
miney mo”
(as I catch tigers)
I come to know
what I
desired
all along.
“eenie meenie
miney mo”
(as I catch tigers)
I come to know
what I
desired
all along.
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[During, not after]
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04-25-2013, 10:11 AM
During, not after
“eenie meenie miney mo” (as I catch tigers) I come to know what I desired all along.
04-25-2013, 04:19 PM
I have this underlying need to change "come" to "came" in this poem.
It is brief. Makes me wonder what you were choosing between.
I'll be there in a minute.
04-26-2013, 08:32 AM
It's kind of quirky in a good way. I think it's a lovely poem
04-26-2013, 10:27 AM
(04-25-2013, 04:19 PM)newsclippings Wrote: I have this underlying need to change "come" to "came" in this poem. I agree, I like "came" more than "come". Also, perhaps consider breaking up "During, not after" to "During/ not after" and shortening "(as I catch tigers)" to "(catching tigers)". I feel that this works better with the meter. |
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