Too White To Fit In With The Rednecks
#1
Timmy Smith used to take his shirt off when he got mad.
His chest was so white that if anyone touched him
the red marks would stay on there for days,
and as hairless as his half-sister
we caught him molesting one night
on a couch behind the fish 'n' tackle store.

Nobody cared very much,
they knew he was doing it,
and the girl would be pregnant,
dead and buried within five years
as far as any of us knew.

But we used to sit outside the store
at night,
unplug the drink machine to play our tape player.
Nobody knew where his sister went,
but Timmy came climbing over the fence,
took his shirt off,
and was looking for trouble.

I don't remember what he said.
He was mad for no reason,
nobody cared.

Then C.W., whose papa ran the store,
came running out of the next door yard
and chased Timmy off with a piece of the fence
that Timmy'd accidently knocked down,
shouting something about his property.
C.W. was only six years old.

Later that night, we all took turns
looking out the window facing the store.
A couple of men got out of a car and were
walking in circles around the shirt, pissing on it.
When they couldn't get the drink machine to work,
they got back in their car and left.

The next morning,
we went and plugged the machine back in,
and C.W.'s uncle's dog pissed on Timmy Smith's shirt,
and when there were no cars going by,
we pissed on the shirt too.
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#2
Hi Rowens, quite a picture you paint, it says much about humanity when we chose to ignore what's in front of our very eyes, good riddance to bad rubbish i says-enjoyed

saeity.
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#3
Hi rowens, it seems that I like your work most when it's narrative and feels semi-autobiographical. You could probably tighten this in places, but I enjoyed the read as you have it.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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#4
This is quite fantastic. May need an edit, but it stands pretty well on its own if you leave it anyway.
I'll be there in a minute.
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#5
what news said.
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#6
Now that spring's coming, there's no telling what bastard children and bastard poems I'll be producing.
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#7
I just love this, not sure how you could improve it with an edit but as a few others have suggested it could maybe be bettered with a bit of tweaking I'll wait and see what you decide,look forward to the bastard poems to come if this is the start
enjoyed muchly
never make someone your priority when to them you are only an option
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#8
Hi Rowens
Just wanted to say I have kept coming back to this piece and it is one that will stay with me. Thanks TOMH

If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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