why i can't let go

[eyeslikesky]

We
carelessly allow someone,
grant them permission to
make us feel so
pitiful

We have invested our time in them,
stayed with them
for the months,
the years,
the hours,
the minutes and
the seconds

We've soaked
and bathed in all
of them
of what they are
of who they are,
their mannerisms and
features unnoticed

[tectak]

We
carelessly allow someone, Some ONE,singular. THEM, plural.
grant them permission to
make us feel so
pitiful

We have invested our time in them,
stayed with them
for the months,
the years,
the hours,
the minutes and
the seconds

We've soaked
and bathed in all
of them
of what they are
of who they are, I don't get the "ins" and "ofs" in this stanza. Taking the punctuation as is, we get "We've soaked and bathed...of what they are" Does that seem right?
their mannerisms and
features unnoticed I'm waiting...I'm still waiting.

Hi eyes
You have a head but no body in this. It seems incomplete. The "Why" in the title seems unanswered because you have chosen to "list" , in statement form, some relatively common and dare I say, pedestrian, thoughts. The first stanza sets out the table for a banquet but the second stanza delivers just a crumb. It is the longest description of an item on this menu but it is just that. A long description. You could have gone on to say....."milli second, micro second, nano second, pico second"
So to form. Peculiar, but as the piece says so little it becomes trivial to suggest that it is of consequence. What purpose is served by sticking the first word on one line. It is not a poetic device unless it has purpose. The splitting of lines into nonsensical chunks makes the words "look" like poetry from fifty feet away, but does not stand up to the scrutiny of the reader.
No rhythm, no rhyme, no metaphors, no form, no imagery.......no poetry.
As I began, I will end. Habeas corpus.
Best,
tectak

[billy]

hi eyeslikesky.

there's a kernal there for you to work with but the poem needs to realised, who are the we, the them, why did we invest time. from the last stanza i'm thinking our children but at present it feels weak. it needs fleshing out

thanks for the read.

We unless the 'we' is tied into the title, it makes for a very very weak first line out there on it's own. who are the we?
carelessly allow someone,
grant them permission to
make us feel so
pitiful the first stanza needs some depth, at present while there's a revelation in it, it could read as, people show me up

We have invested our time in them, again, who are the wee and now the tem?
stayed with them
for the months,
the years,
the hours,
the minutes and
the seconds this could read as; we spent a lot of time on them

We've soaked
and bathed in all
of them
of what they are
of who they are,
their mannerisms and
features unnoticed