Getting into this stuff

[Ishabides]

I wanna get into poetry, specifically slam, but idk. I guess I should just start with this:
I’ve attempted to write this shit before

building myself up in front of other people like “wow check my verses”

but seriously that shit was nothing but deep emotion and shallow curses

I wanna give it a second shot, maybe get good at it and finally find a hobby

but isn’t that blasphemous? making a hobby out of someone else’s lifeforce

taking someone’s calling with a leisurely pace? While I pace around my room when the words don’t come, they run

they run because they’re hurt and it’s their escape

they run because they haven’t got anyone to talk to

they run because even if they do, the words don’t come out straight

I wanna give this shit a-

no

not this shit

I wanna give this expression a second chance

I wanna last with the rest of them, but I gotta tear myself down

because quite frankly, I’m just a pretentious dick

emotions should carry this, not a need for a clique

Open to suggestions

[Leanne]

Though the technical aspects could do with some work, I find I really like what you've got to say. Slam-type poetry is really hard to critique in the written format, but there are a few things that might help regardless of how you eventually want to present your poetry.

I like your shift from "shit" to "expression" after checking yourself, that's effective (and pretty respectful!). Also the personification of your words ("they run because they're hurt and it's their escape") is well done. Watch your repetition though -- it's a good device but it can easily become a bit of a filler.

All poets are pretentious dicks, you know, it's part of the job description