i affirm this is a limerick

[dooces]

the mote of poetic expression i have inspiried me to write a limerick:

Edit - attempting to turn a yard into a meter:

common dialect has escaped my head
obscure lexicon has taken its stead
applied, succinct in verse
affords one to be terse


common dialect escapes my head
obscure lexicon has took its stead
applied in succinct verse
affords one to be terse

[Leanne]

I get it, very amusing.

Not for serious critique though, so I'm just going to shift this to mild. You might like to familiarise yourself with the posting rules for each forum.

---

What I like about this little poem is its self-awareness, and the idea that the five lines of a limerick is just too verbose. I confess I was tempted to refute your limerick claim before I actually read it -- and that temptation made the realisation of the poem's purpose all the sweeter.

I would have liked to see this rendered in slightly more limerick-y meter, but that's a small thing.

[billy]

clever. i love the title and the content and the fact it isn't a traditional limerick. it's hard to argue the point cos with this you can straddle either side of the fence.

[dooces]

I would have liked to see this rendered in slightly more limerick-y meter, but that's a small thing.

thank you for your thoughts.

while searching for perfection, iterations dissected both my words and my compass. i tried to sacrifice the meter delicately, as any map i found led my intentions astray. though limericks, im sure, are menial and simplistic for most, strict conformity threatens my resolve. any suggestions towards a less dissonant meter would be openly received, as i would like to deviate from the rule only on the omission.

[Leanne]

Perhaps the best deviation from the rollicking limerick meter would be stately iambic pentameter/ trimeter

[brandontoh]

Yeah, this is quite a witty poem. Quite self-referential, if I'm using the word correctly. I like poems like these, they're cute in their own way, and serve to piss off poetry purists.

[heslopian]

Though the meter's probably better in your edit it was the first version I read and I was slightly confused by the third line, which is a lot clearer (to me) in the original. Just a thought. This is an amusing limerick which those who read poetry, both amateur and professional, will enjoy more, I think. It's very witty in the way it eschews traditional form while claiming it can afford to be terse; I also like how the narrator says that common dialect has escaped his head, when really he's using it to write his limerick. Certainly there's not much of an "obscure lexicon" here. Thank you for the read

[serge gurkski]

well, I like this too.
But it is not a limerick.
Which is fine with me.

And to dream about the Brits changing yards to meters I can only wish you luck.
Not in our life-time. (and why should they anyway)

cheers
serge