Sea and Stone

[earlymorningnoises]

dear friends
i hope this finds you well
i am crushed between stone and sea
since we last found a moment
between you and me

ive since been a statue
carved of muscle and bone
placed above nothing
bleeding from knuckles and lungs

my shaking knees i reason
are from my cold apartment
or a fear of dying alone
either is sad in its right

dear friends
i hope the wind fills your sail
to carry to hopeful shores
and maybe you could catch a glimpse
of a lone statue against a horizon
from over your shoulder.

[arbil_poieo]

Hey Joe,
I like how you wrote this, he's sad but also unselfish when it comes to his friends in wanting what's best for them.

"dear friends
i hope the wind fills your sail
to carry to hopeful shores
and maybe you could catch a glimpse
of a lone statue against a horizon
from over your shoulder."
I like how you tied all this together in the last stanza, a very strong ending.

[newsclippings]

the choice to omit punctuation until the end is a nice touch

[earlymorningnoises]

Thank you both. The punctuation was unintentional, though. I tend to neglect it n song writing and that reflects iny poems

[rowens]

Instead of proofreading, I just say that it was good, and promising of more good stuff. Sometimes they just come off. This one did. So I'm not going to pry into it, but just overlook those other things that people point out. Mere typos. But the poem has the nice direct speech, talking right to us, and me.

[totaltrainwreck]

This poem felt like it had an underlying rhythm. I wish you'd have changed a couple words around to really bring this out.

dear friends
i hope this finds you well
i am crushed between sea and stone
since we last found a moment
between you and me

ive since been a statue
carved of muscle and bone
placed above nothing
bleeding from knuckles and lungs

my shaking knees i reason
are from my cold apartment
or a fear of dying alone
either is sad in its right