Do you revise your poems, or do you write them down and leave them? Your poems seem all right. But it's interesting to know how you go about writing them. In one of your poems, you say you already wrote nine poems, I think, in one morning while drunk. Is that true, or just part of a poem? Maybe if you talk some about how you work, and what you think about how other people work, there'll be more I can say to seriously critique.
I usually do not revise my poems except if a shoddy mistake is spotted, I am French-native speaker so I can sometimes get it wrong in English.
Also, yes it was right, I wrote 9 poems that evening, wine helping because of a heartache. Mistakes are part of a poem, I write freestyle, no specific rules, it just needs to have a rhythm and to not bore the reader. I have big issues to read others because of their poetry flying a bit too high in the stars on too many verses.
So to sum up, I have a rush, I need to write, I do, I polish the poem and then publish it or save it to publish it later. Sometimes, I ask for a review to have an external opinion as people all around me know my spirit so they enjoy it, but it's good to face a new public at times.
If that works for you, and the poem works for you, there's nothing wrong with it. You say you polish the poem, that's really what I meant by revise. And I misread the other poem, It said 9pm, not 9am. I'm usually drunk by 9am, if I can afford anything, so maybe my verses are high in the stars on those occasions, but I think I'm more sensible drunk than I am sober. My points of view on others' poetry are no better or worse than my views on my own poetry. And criticism can be an art in itself, and I'm no more or less comfortable giving criticism than I am writing poetry. It's hard to know what bores a reader, because there are so many of them.
When I read your poems, I can get a feeling of your life. And that's your intention. That's the normal condition of a young writer. It's just that the rhythm gets boring too. And the drinking. A great lot of us are drunk most of the time. It needs something more. I get bored. So I work on finding a break in the tedious rhythm. I find most of what I've written rather boring, but I'm used to these thoughts and feelings and self expressions, so my opinions are biased. And when I do like my poems, that's usually based on situations that went into the writing, and those also include losing my self, but my views of my poems are no better than anyone else's views. Your poems seem content in their discontent. If that's what you enjoy, that's fine with me. But you might get bored of it too.
What human beings do not get bored of? We'll see when it happens, if it happens as a lot was meant to happen and never did.
