--In the barbers chair--
#1
Title from a new prompt


--Edit 1--

An empty gaze,
careless chattering,
the blades are pruning vanity,
my love, hello!
thoughtfulness scattering,
beauty stares right back at me.

--original--

A barbers chair,
careless chattering,
the blades are pruning vanity,
my love, hello!
thoughtfulness scattering,
beauty stares right back at me.
If something happens and you can remedy it, Why worry?
And if something happens that you can't remedy, Still why worry?

www.benjack.co.nz
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#2
Welcome to my barbers chair (Title post), your in Misc so, a good view from the seat really like the blades are pruning vanity....I would open with this line and drop...A Barbers chair as its in the title, other than that little trim Smile your poem has a nice short back and sides. Nice job

If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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#3
Cheers for the feedback TOMH,
Yeah I changed the "a barbers chair", you're right it is redundant.
To move "the blades are pruning vanity" to the start would mess up the composition a bit though, so I just edited line 1 Smile
If something happens and you can remedy it, Why worry?
And if something happens that you can't remedy, Still why worry?

www.benjack.co.nz
Reply
#4
sounds a bit vain Big Grin but it did make me crack a smile you beauty Hysterical
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