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I oft'times think that poetry, is similar to wine.
To keep truth with the label, needs must the musts combine.
Thus clearly once 'tis clarified, and style of wine true be,
the musts must from eclectic choice, be the guarantee!
Tectak
03/2011
See if this will tempt dale back.
Posts: 1,568
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Joined: Jun 2011
It's nice bait for the hook
Let's see -- there are archaisms, there's a comma in the first line that doesn't belong and doesn't work as a caesura, there's inverted syntax...
It's an eclectic blend of all those things that one might consider misplaced in contemporary poetry.
Love the must wordplay.
It could be worse
Posts: 2,602
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Joined: Feb 2017
(08-12-2012, 05:21 AM)Leanne Wrote: It's nice bait for the hook
Let's see -- there are archaisms, there's a comma in the first line that doesn't belong and doesn't work as a caesura, there's inverted syntax...
It's an eclectic blend of all those things that one might consider misplaced in contemporary poetry.
Love the must wordplay.
Right on, baby!!! You dig me good for sure you do, innit?
Best,
tectak
Posts: 1,568
Threads: 317
Joined: Jun 2011
I fear, however, this poem falls short as it has no very intellectual pop psychology reference or non sequitur masquerading as mystical profundity.
You need to add a stanza about your mother and row to China.
It could be worse
Posts: 5,057
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(08-12-2012, 05:10 AM)tectak Wrote: I oft'times think that poetry, is similar to wine.
To keep truth with the label, needs must the musts combine.
Thus clearly once 'tis clarified, and style of wine true be,
the musts must from eclectic choice, be the guarantee!
Tectak
03/2011
See if this will tempt dale back.
a cheeky little number, too fuckin cheeky by half
i found it to be excellent in it baseness, brevity and wit.
come back Dale and save us
