Laura Marx on "Lycanthropy" by ChristopherSea - Printable Version +- Poetry Forum (https://www.pigpenpoetry.com) +-- Forum: Poetry Forum (https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/forum-1.html) +--- Forum: Spotlighting the Hogs -- Critic Edition (https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/forum-77.html) +--- Thread: Laura Marx on "Lycanthropy" by ChristopherSea (/thread-12953.html) |
Laura Marx on "Lycanthropy" by ChristopherSea - Leanne - 12-15-2013 Noticed the use of form here - it's very sweet. The rhythm is nice. It's strange that you'd pick iambic tetrameter, though, for this poem, which is so violent. It's bouncy. I'm expecting a joke by the fourth line of each verse, not 'never pity my abject soul.' I wonder if you chose it intentionally, as a juxtaposition - regardless, I do not really feel it works. Quote:I dread the romance of midnight really nice opening The poem would benefit from clarity exponentially. It's very vague. If it wasn't for the title I would have thought this was a poem about a rapist or something like that. It'd have taken me all the way to wolfsbane and hemlock to get any clue that this was about a wolfman if it wasn't for the title. To me, really, the poem really comes into its own in stanza 4. The first three stanzas are too vague to really mean anything or be very threatening. You seem to have been preoccupied trying to come up with poetic ways to say 'I am a werewolf'. At stanza 4, though, it lights up; I have never seen lycanthropy treated in this way before, which is good. 'Come unto me with poisons and narcotics!' - it's a very interesting angle. My advice is start there. That's a strong start and it keeps that strength up until the end. A tortured old werewolf saying: get me drunk and kill me. View the original thread here RE: Laura Marx on "Lycanthropy" by ChristopherSea - billy - 12-20-2013 it's good to see good feedback :J: RE: Laura Marx on "Lycanthropy" by ChristopherSea - ChristopherSea - 01-25-2014 Her critique was critical to the edits that followed. It's too bad that Laura Marx ran off to write her communist manifesto or some sort of bolshevik! |