The Moors Are Thick With Your Mist Too
#1
"Success is counted sweetest
By those who ne'er succeed." - Emily Dickinson

Again I return to Wuthering Heights,
beating on the white windows
like Catherine does at call of night.

The cellar rich with human filth,
trees expelling blood,
moors protected by the snow;
and those who live nearby still rot.

My teacher once asked if a girl
like Emily, whose life had been
conducted from behind a wall,
crunching cakes in solitude,
could have understood such hate,
the burning violence love becomes
and strives to torment arrogance.

I daresay those who live alone
have more knowledge of this pain
than those surrounded by kindness.

[Image: 544244_3a8542a7.jpg]
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
Reply
#2
(08-01-2011, 08:04 AM)Heslopian Wrote:  "Success is counted sweetest
By those who ne'er succeed." - Emily Dickinson

Again I return to Wuthering Heights,
beating on the white windows is 'the' needed?
like Catherine does at call of night.

The cellar rich with human filth,
the trees expelling blood,
the moors protected by the snow; is the 'the in thine and the one above needed?
and those who live nearby still rot.

My teacher once asked if a girl is once needed?
like Emily, whose life had been
conducted from behind a wall,
crunching cakes in solitude,
could have understood such hate,
the burning violence love becomes
and strives to torment arrogance.would that work better than and

I daresay those who live alone is dare say one word?
have more knowledge of this pain
than those surrounded by kindness.

in the poem you write;
the moors protected by the snow; Huh

a good write that needs a little baggage taking out in a small edit.
i think a pic of the moors in snow and possibly in a dark light would have worked better.

thanks for the read Smile

[Image: 544244_3a8542a7.jpg]
Reply
#3
Thank you for the feedback Bilbo. I will use your suggestion about the second and third "the"s in the second verse. "Daresay" can be made one word.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
Reply
#4
thanks on the daresay heads up, i wasn't sure Wink
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!