April 24 NaPoMo 2021
#1
[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif][font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Rules: Write a poem for national poetry month on the topic or form described. Each poem should appear as a separate reply to this thread. The goal is to, at the end of the month have written 30 poems for National Poetry Month.[/font][/font]


[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]NaPM April 24, 2021[/font]



[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Topic: Write two limericks that tie together[/font]

[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Form: limerick[/font]

[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif][font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Line Requirement: at least 10 (8 works)[/font][/font]
Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches
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#2
There was a young man of Golgotha
who carried a joker moon, a gift from his father.
He lost it one day, and still looks for it they say,
that lunumorous young man of Golgotha.

There was an old man on a cross
who counted the nails a loss.
“Much as they abuse’m, I hope they reuse’m”
said that ecophiliac old man on the cross.
“All persons, living or dead, are entirely coincidental.”  Kurt Vonnegut
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#3
Whenever jim saw red,
he usually bowed his head.
He'd lay in bed and pray the dead
would return instead to be fed
Jim was timid and wary,
He hated this other guy Larry.
Larry would parry 'well, you'll never marry,
you'll never even see the cherry.'
One day Larry called out to Jim,
'my sisters in town on a whim,
Don't be so dim, go out on a limb'
And invited him out with the them.
So jim, Larry, and Mabel,
easily found a good table.
Ordered top label, and quickly were able
to make more than their chairs unstable.
Larry wandered off to mingle
And Mabel gave jim a good tingle
They were both single, the songs a good jingle
'Let's go take a peak at that dingle.'
The next morning back at the office
He quickly became very nauseous.
An email he lost his job, but the cause is
a dick pic went out to all his bosses.
Jim asked Larry about his sister.
But Larry just laughed, 'listen mister,
You must have pissed her off when you kissed her,
Mabel's a bitch, And you dissed her.'
So jim was a little confused
Never had he been so abused
A noose is too loose, it's time to light a fuse
And just turn everyone into juice.
He filled the car up with gas
Inside and out for the blast
To work hauling ass, right through the glass
And he passed but the fire didn't last.
I thought this would be about zombies
Then maybe I'd write about trannies
What about bombings or ironic endings
Fuck it I'm just not good at limericks
Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches
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#4
Cussing

There isn’t a need for such cussing
there are other ways of discussing
haven’t you heard
there are other words
so stop with your persistent cussing.

If you don’t like my language, too bad!
It’s just how I talk when I’m mad
there’s no goddamn way
that I’ll watch what I say
You don’t like it? Tough shit! Too bad!
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#5
There was once a small building committee
in the suburbs of old Chester city,
who said, 'No, Mrs Blatt,
you cannot keep a cat
and especially not one so unpretty.'

Mrs Blatt simply smiled and said, 'Ah well',
but that night she cast, twice, the fierce Raaarrrgh-spell
and a lion from the zoo
came and hit one, then two,
of the cat-adverse folks with a barbell.
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#6
Melo Moments


She’s a heroine tied to the track
with rails ‘neath her neck and her back-
side whose minutes must stretch
‘til her shrill cries can fetch
her hero with glistening jack-

knife to sever rough ropes ‘round her legs
and pummel that cad ‘til he begs
for his life from her man
for his villainous plan
gone smash like a sack-full of eggs.
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
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#7
Directors cut

Ah ha cried the villain, I'm back
so what do you think about that ?
What do I think
of a villain in pink,
you really should have worn black.

Ah ha cried the villain, I'm back
and much more scary in black?
Well not that scary
and a little too hairy,
try it without the moustache.

Ah ha cried the villain, I'm back
and look I have no moustache.
Oh ! that's disconcerting
and quite concerning,
I'm afraid to say, you're sacked.

If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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