Plod's Law (revision+title changed)
#1
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Plod's Law: A Police Procedural.



"Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water.

Jack fell down
or was he pushed
and why did they go up there?

Water flows
from high to low
so nothing needed climbing.

Surely, Sarge
you must agree
that one or both are lying?

Jill was Gill
but now they're Jill
their story's always changing,

Sunday best,
a silky dress,
some goat that's misbehaving."


"Are you done, young constable? Do you think we have time
to investigate each case of a questionable rhyme?

Check the log, we're chock-a-block: Muffet's got the stalker,
Peep, her sheep are on the lam, none returned to quarters;

and Patty Cake, the baker's mam, is wanting to know why
Mister Piper's son has nicked another of their pies;

'Goosey' Gander's on the loose, bailed for that assault
the farmer's wife who's claiming now it was the mices fault;

another B & E has left the Hubbard cupboard bare,
her doggie didn't bark last night, curious and rare;

Kingsman's up to something, it wasn't "serendipity",
I've seen the scene, wall and all, now there's a rhyme that's fishy.

So, much as I admire your willing spirit of inquiry,
this door-to-door won't do itself, you keep your mind on Dumpty."












Uniformity*


Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water,

Jack fell down
or was he pushed
and why did they go up there?

Water flows
from high to low
so where's the need for climbing,

surely, Sarge
you must agree
that one or both are lying?

Jill was Gill
but now they're Jill
the story's always changing.

Sunday best,
a silky dress,
some goat that's misbehaving.


Are you done, young constable? You think we have the time
to investigate each incident of reason-lacking rhymes?

Check the log, we're chock-a-block: Muffet's got the stalker,
Peep, her sheep are on the lam, which likely means a rustler;

Five has heard a whisper 'bout that misper Bobby Shafto
did he really "go to sea" and what does Mary Mary know?

'Goosey' Gander's still at large, and bailed for that assault
the farmer's wife who's claiming now it was the mices fault;

Hubbard had a B & E, the cupboards all left bare,
her doggie didn't bark that night, curious, and rare;

complaint just in from Patty Cake, it's fair to say she's testy,
twocking Tom been having fun and stolen her son's pastries;

Constable, it's good that you have energy aplenty, but
you've yet to do the door-to-door regarding Mr. Dumpty.

(Kingsman's up to something, this wasn't "serendipity",
I've seen the scene, high wall and all, that "fall" is smelling fishy.)

So,

listen Jack Horner,
pay close attention
thumbs out, pull up your socks.

Stop spinning your wheels,
get into gear,
start acting like a woodentop.





* title suggestions welcome.




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#2
knot,

Put first four lines in quotation marks, unless you are claiming authorship Smile

"her doggie didn't bark that night, curious, and rare;" drop comma after curious.

Nice off rhyme "serendipity" and "fishy".

I find this stanza confusing:

"Jill was Gill
but now they're Jill
the story's always changing."

" Bobby Shafto" seems a bit obscure. Most of this comes from "Mother Goose", maybe limit it to that.

I believe your denouement leaves a bit to be desired. I think "stop" instead of "start" would work better in the last line.

Title suggestion "Telling Tale."  Of course it would go, but "Hard Boiled Dick Tale" came to mind Hysterical


dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Reply
#3
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Hi Dale,
thanks for the read, and suggestions. (Not to mention the idea that anyone would think I'm the original author of Jack and Jill Smile )

"Jill was Gill ... "
Originally (apparently) it was Jack and Gill (two boys) who went up the hill, Jill, a cow and a goat came later.

Actually, most of this comes from the my memories of childhood.

a 'woodentop' is (amongst other things) British slang for a uniformed policeman (hence 'start').

Thanks again,


Best, Knot.


ps  Thanks for the nudge.  I'm thinking that perhaps Police Procedural might make a better title.


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Reply
#4
Marvelous, I wonder when and why someone decided to sexualize it. Thanks.

dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Reply
#5
(08-29-2020, 01:11 PM)Erthona Wrote:  Marvelous, I wonder when and why someone decided to sexualize it. Thanks.
Have they? That I did not know.

Best, Knot.


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