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		<title><![CDATA[Poetry Forum - Basic critique]]></title>
		<link>https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/</link>
		<description><![CDATA[Poetry Forum - https://www.pigpenpoetry.com]]></description>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Jul 2026 22:33:37 +0000</pubDate>
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		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[The Dream I Send You Every Night, But Never Talk About]]></title>
			<link>https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27482.html</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 14 Jul 2026 21:31:50 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=10845">matsunosuperfan</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27482.html</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">The Dream I Send You Every Night,<br />
</span><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">But Never Talk About</span><br />
<br />
You're strung out fighting sleep <br />
again, revisiting the latest tragedy<br />
to climb out of your mouth, and this <br />
is called a life. You're stretched out <br />
<br />
over legless trees, <br />
absorbing oxygen through tiny <br />
doughnut discs atop an old log<br />
full of worms and salt, circling <br />
<br />
a doped-up lightning bug<br />
till it runs out of juice, <br />
which hardly counts<br />
as news—but row out with me <br />
<br />
deeper now, where stars don't mind<br />
the lighthouse. Streams of gravity like ants <br />
run down the oarlocked gunnels. A stray hand<br />
snatches at the currents <br />
<br />
pouring from your face <br />
into a heartless silence,<br />
cat or lover, any life <br />
you choose.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">The Dream I Send You Every Night,<br />
</span><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">But Never Talk About</span><br />
<br />
You're strung out fighting sleep <br />
again, revisiting the latest tragedy<br />
to climb out of your mouth, and this <br />
is called a life. You're stretched out <br />
<br />
over legless trees, <br />
absorbing oxygen through tiny <br />
doughnut discs atop an old log<br />
full of worms and salt, circling <br />
<br />
a doped-up lightning bug<br />
till it runs out of juice, <br />
which hardly counts<br />
as news—but row out with me <br />
<br />
deeper now, where stars don't mind<br />
the lighthouse. Streams of gravity like ants <br />
run down the oarlocked gunnels. A stray hand<br />
snatches at the currents <br />
<br />
pouring from your face <br />
into a heartless silence,<br />
cat or lover, any life <br />
you choose.]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Intersection With Unborn Child]]></title>
			<link>https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27476.html</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 10 Jul 2026 17:23:34 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=10845">matsunosuperfan</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27476.html</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">Intersection With Unborn Child</span><br />
<br />
What is time<br />
to you now,<br />
little soul? Are you behind<br />
<br />
the bright unblinking eye <br />
of this fat crow <br />
nursing a heel of bread <br />
<br />
I watch so long<br />
I lose track of myself, missing <br />
the small red hand <br />
<br />
that means it’s safe <br />
to cross? Good people <br />
come over to watch me <br />
<br />
watch the windows<br />
all night long, blow kisses<br />
to the wind. With love <br />
<br />
they warn me <br />
not to waste my life<br />
looking for signs, you<br />
<br />
who I can always find<br />
between my ribs <br />
and the stars.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">Intersection With Unborn Child</span><br />
<br />
What is time<br />
to you now,<br />
little soul? Are you behind<br />
<br />
the bright unblinking eye <br />
of this fat crow <br />
nursing a heel of bread <br />
<br />
I watch so long<br />
I lose track of myself, missing <br />
the small red hand <br />
<br />
that means it’s safe <br />
to cross? Good people <br />
come over to watch me <br />
<br />
watch the windows<br />
all night long, blow kisses<br />
to the wind. With love <br />
<br />
they warn me <br />
not to waste my life<br />
looking for signs, you<br />
<br />
who I can always find<br />
between my ribs <br />
and the stars.]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[They've got computers now]]></title>
			<link>https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27470.html</link>
			<pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2026 15:55:48 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=10845">matsunosuperfan</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27470.html</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">They’ve got computers now</span><br />
<br />
that can write poetry, read your mind, or paint <br />
the Mona Lisa. Lots of very smart people<br />
are worried about this, which is a massive <br />
waste of energy. There’s no convincing <br />
evidence machines can outdo <br />
artists: have you ever seen an AI agent <br />
board the bus without a ticket, having left <br />
its wallet on the windowsill, distracted <br />
by a blackbird, only to get waved through<br />
by the driver with his stoic spine and fixed<br />
half-grimace, and he mutters <br />
like your father, so you shrapnel <br />
into tears? <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Yes, but the machine can draw</span><br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">a perfectly straight line. </span>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">They’ve got computers now</span><br />
<br />
that can write poetry, read your mind, or paint <br />
the Mona Lisa. Lots of very smart people<br />
are worried about this, which is a massive <br />
waste of energy. There’s no convincing <br />
evidence machines can outdo <br />
artists: have you ever seen an AI agent <br />
board the bus without a ticket, having left <br />
its wallet on the windowsill, distracted <br />
by a blackbird, only to get waved through<br />
by the driver with his stoic spine and fixed<br />
half-grimace, and he mutters <br />
like your father, so you shrapnel <br />
into tears? <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Yes, but the machine can draw</span><br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">a perfectly straight line. </span>]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Et Super Te]]></title>
			<link>https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27467.html</link>
			<pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2026 01:58:32 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=9253">brynmawr1</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27467.html</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[Et Super Te<br />
 <br />
Morning and the gulls cry<br />
sidewalks glistened with early rain<br />
the mood maudlin<br />
amidst the joy.  You’ve found<br />
you become a place<br />
and a place becomes you<br />
the leaving more a resection<br />
the scalpel wielded willingly<br />
inevitably the hand shakes<br />
and a piece is left behind<br />
but a piece is also taken<br />
 <br />
Go and grieve<br />
remember the joy]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Et Super Te<br />
 <br />
Morning and the gulls cry<br />
sidewalks glistened with early rain<br />
the mood maudlin<br />
amidst the joy.  You’ve found<br />
you become a place<br />
and a place becomes you<br />
the leaving more a resection<br />
the scalpel wielded willingly<br />
inevitably the hand shakes<br />
and a piece is left behind<br />
but a piece is also taken<br />
 <br />
Go and grieve<br />
remember the joy]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Overthought]]></title>
			<link>https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27461.html</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 30 Jun 2026 23:43:48 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=9684">carahmellow</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27461.html</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[Hi! Long time no see. I haven't been here in a while, but I was hoping to get some critique/revision on this piece....  Im going to go read some of your pieces and share some thoughts! I hope you all have been well.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: x-large;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">Overthought </span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">There will come a day</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">when life tires of you.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">The great abandonment</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">that leaves you on the other side,</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">alone.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">Go with your middle finger high,</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">cheeks pulled wide</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">as its back turns.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">You prepared for this</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">through philosophers’ words,</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">dog-eared books </span><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">and </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">circled proverbs,</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">hours spent</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">trying to outthink</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">what would never spare you.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">Aren’t you glad?</span></span></span>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Hi! Long time no see. I haven't been here in a while, but I was hoping to get some critique/revision on this piece....  Im going to go read some of your pieces and share some thoughts! I hope you all have been well.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: x-large;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">Overthought </span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">There will come a day</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">when life tires of you.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">The great abandonment</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">that leaves you on the other side,</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">alone.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">Go with your middle finger high,</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">cheeks pulled wide</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">as its back turns.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">You prepared for this</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">through philosophers’ words,</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">dog-eared books </span><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">and </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">circled proverbs,</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">hours spent</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">trying to outthink</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">what would never spare you.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #000000;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-family: 'EB Garamond', serif;" class="mycode_font">Aren’t you glad?</span></span></span>]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[And there you are.]]></title>
			<link>https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27456.html</link>
			<pubDate>Mon, 29 Jun 2026 13:10:06 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=10407">JohnS</a>]]></dc:creator>
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			<description><![CDATA[(Edit - new first stanza and some other detail changes)<br />
<br />
I’ve come so far,<br />
past the icy fringe of outer rings,<br />
past lifeless moons, pulsating stars;<br />
I stop and drift.<br />
And there you are,<br />
<br />
a smear of blue and improbable green,<br />
wrapped in breath so thin<br />
I marvel that anything inside it dares to dream.<br />
I've studied a thousand worlds<br />
from pock-marked rocks to acid clouds and iron plains<br />
and none of them do this thing you do: <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">radiate.</span><br />
Not with flame. With something I can’t explain.<br />
I have mapped your poles and latitudes,<br />
I've watched the lights you string along your coasts at night,<br />
heard you argue about how to divide a thing<br />
and then call it your own.<br />
I've heard all the thoughts you launch into the void —<br />
those urgent, beautiful, ridiculous dispatches about love,<br />
and sport,<br />
and the price of eggs.<br />
<br />
I confess I don't know what to feel.<br />
My people gave up feeling long ago —<br />
we reasoned it away —<br />
yet here I hover, instruments gone quiet,<br />
studying a species barely born but builds cathedrals <br />
and makes war <br />
and weeps at music it composed itself.<br />
<br />
I should move on.<br />
There are other systems to study.<br />
I have the data I came for.<br />
But I linger in the dark above your clouds,<br />
the way you linger over something beautiful,<br />
afraid that if you look away too long,<br />
it will be gone.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[(Edit - new first stanza and some other detail changes)<br />
<br />
I’ve come so far,<br />
past the icy fringe of outer rings,<br />
past lifeless moons, pulsating stars;<br />
I stop and drift.<br />
And there you are,<br />
<br />
a smear of blue and improbable green,<br />
wrapped in breath so thin<br />
I marvel that anything inside it dares to dream.<br />
I've studied a thousand worlds<br />
from pock-marked rocks to acid clouds and iron plains<br />
and none of them do this thing you do: <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">radiate.</span><br />
Not with flame. With something I can’t explain.<br />
I have mapped your poles and latitudes,<br />
I've watched the lights you string along your coasts at night,<br />
heard you argue about how to divide a thing<br />
and then call it your own.<br />
I've heard all the thoughts you launch into the void —<br />
those urgent, beautiful, ridiculous dispatches about love,<br />
and sport,<br />
and the price of eggs.<br />
<br />
I confess I don't know what to feel.<br />
My people gave up feeling long ago —<br />
we reasoned it away —<br />
yet here I hover, instruments gone quiet,<br />
studying a species barely born but builds cathedrals <br />
and makes war <br />
and weeps at music it composed itself.<br />
<br />
I should move on.<br />
There are other systems to study.<br />
I have the data I came for.<br />
But I linger in the dark above your clouds,<br />
the way you linger over something beautiful,<br />
afraid that if you look away too long,<br />
it will be gone.]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[The grand themes]]></title>
			<link>https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27455.html</link>
			<pubDate>Mon, 29 Jun 2026 10:49:25 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=8661">busker</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27455.html</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">The grand themes </span><br />
<br />
Oh, the grand themes -<br />
they’re all grand themes<br />
about capitalism and Adam’s curse.<br />
I don’t know which is worse -<br />
reading poetry on grand themes,<br />
or the heat death of the universe.<br />
<br />
Give me Saturday’s green island dreams <br />
about dinosaurs, and an audiobook on Musk.<br />
Let the great expostulate on their great <span style="text-decoration: line-through;" class="mycode_s">themes</span> schemes,<br />
from tech bros to Trump, and Donald Tusk.<br />
I am happy to be bran, the merest husk<br />
of greatness. It’s been a long day, I’m tired,<br />
and it’s nearly dusk.<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
I would also welcome suggestions coming from quality AI prompts<br />
Mine own have been wanting]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">The grand themes </span><br />
<br />
Oh, the grand themes -<br />
they’re all grand themes<br />
about capitalism and Adam’s curse.<br />
I don’t know which is worse -<br />
reading poetry on grand themes,<br />
or the heat death of the universe.<br />
<br />
Give me Saturday’s green island dreams <br />
about dinosaurs, and an audiobook on Musk.<br />
Let the great expostulate on their great <span style="text-decoration: line-through;" class="mycode_s">themes</span> schemes,<br />
from tech bros to Trump, and Donald Tusk.<br />
I am happy to be bran, the merest husk<br />
of greatness. It’s been a long day, I’m tired,<br />
and it’s nearly dusk.<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
I would also welcome suggestions coming from quality AI prompts<br />
Mine own have been wanting]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[All the same]]></title>
			<link>https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27448.html</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 23 Jun 2026 10:40:19 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=10680">sad_bunny</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27448.html</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[Misunderstood, lonely<br />
barely even heard <br />
Does it always remain all the same? <br />
<br />
Every day, every week, <br />
Every month, every year, <br />
Up until we aren’t here<br />
The sun will set and <br />
The moon will rise. <br />
<br />
Does it always remain all the same <br />
Or does it change sometime? <br />
<br />
Understood, belonging, <br />
More heard than ever<br />
Does this make it better<br />
Or does it remain all the same<br />
As the sun sets and <br />
The moon rises?]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Misunderstood, lonely<br />
barely even heard <br />
Does it always remain all the same? <br />
<br />
Every day, every week, <br />
Every month, every year, <br />
Up until we aren’t here<br />
The sun will set and <br />
The moon will rise. <br />
<br />
Does it always remain all the same <br />
Or does it change sometime? <br />
<br />
Understood, belonging, <br />
More heard than ever<br />
Does this make it better<br />
Or does it remain all the same<br />
As the sun sets and <br />
The moon rises?]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[On Counting With Your Toes]]></title>
			<link>https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27441.html</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 19 Jun 2026 06:36:43 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=10845">matsunosuperfan</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27441.html</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">On Counting With Your Toes</span><br />
<br />
Quentin Tarantino is a famous ghoul for feet. He cast Uma Thurman <br />
just to have her <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">get those piggies wiggling.</span> When he sleeps, it is of pink <br />
arches and pummeled soles, their velvet leather supple under the tongue, <br />
that Quentin dreams. This of course is common lore, the stale kind <br />
good old boys can still take home in plastic bags like festival corn, in which <br />
we’re all complicit—we love that we can watch Pulp Fiction or Kill Bill, <br />
see the grumpy Negro bug his eyes out and deliver lines like <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">And you will know </span><br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">that I am the Lord!</span> which is funny because, yes, everyone does know and what they know<br />
is God is dead and white. This is what I’d planned to tell you on the date<br />
we didn’t have the night you died. Your scalp flew through the air, came down<br />
soft like snow drops on parked cars. Even Sonny Chiba couldn’t laugh.<br />
At the morgue, the corpse face painter doesn’t look a lick like Pam Grier, but does seem <br />
to have her thighs, I think to my most turgid self, feeling naughty in the shadow of grief, as is<br />
my established habit. Wiggle your toes if you can hear me up there, would you<br />
love? Today it makes a little cold precipitation and I catch the first flake on my tongue, <br />
which hardly even bleeds. I guess that really was a Hattori Hanzo sword. <br />
<br />
<div style="margin:20px; margin-top:5px"><div class="quotetitle"><input class="button2 btnlite" type="button" value="View Spoiler" style="text-align:center;width:115px;margin:0px;padding:0px;" onclick="if (this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display != '') { this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display = '';      this.innerText = ''; this.value = 'Hide Spoiler'; } else { this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display = 'none'; this.innerText = ''; this.value = 'View Spoiler'; }" /></div><div class="quotecontent"><div style="display: none;"> I have no idea what I am doing here. </div></div></div>
`]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">On Counting With Your Toes</span><br />
<br />
Quentin Tarantino is a famous ghoul for feet. He cast Uma Thurman <br />
just to have her <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">get those piggies wiggling.</span> When he sleeps, it is of pink <br />
arches and pummeled soles, their velvet leather supple under the tongue, <br />
that Quentin dreams. This of course is common lore, the stale kind <br />
good old boys can still take home in plastic bags like festival corn, in which <br />
we’re all complicit—we love that we can watch Pulp Fiction or Kill Bill, <br />
see the grumpy Negro bug his eyes out and deliver lines like <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">And you will know </span><br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">that I am the Lord!</span> which is funny because, yes, everyone does know and what they know<br />
is God is dead and white. This is what I’d planned to tell you on the date<br />
we didn’t have the night you died. Your scalp flew through the air, came down<br />
soft like snow drops on parked cars. Even Sonny Chiba couldn’t laugh.<br />
At the morgue, the corpse face painter doesn’t look a lick like Pam Grier, but does seem <br />
to have her thighs, I think to my most turgid self, feeling naughty in the shadow of grief, as is<br />
my established habit. Wiggle your toes if you can hear me up there, would you<br />
love? Today it makes a little cold precipitation and I catch the first flake on my tongue, <br />
which hardly even bleeds. I guess that really was a Hattori Hanzo sword. <br />
<br />
<div style="margin:20px; margin-top:5px"><div class="quotetitle"><input class="button2 btnlite" type="button" value="View Spoiler" style="text-align:center;width:115px;margin:0px;padding:0px;" onclick="if (this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display != '') { this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display = '';      this.innerText = ''; this.value = 'Hide Spoiler'; } else { this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display = 'none'; this.innerText = ''; this.value = 'View Spoiler'; }" /></div><div class="quotecontent"><div style="display: none;"> I have no idea what I am doing here. </div></div></div>
`]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Just keep sailing...]]></title>
			<link>https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27439.html</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 18 Jun 2026 01:53:44 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=10958">N.A.</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27439.html</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[Just keep sailing...<br />
<br />
I’ve never liked smiling,<br />
always thought I looked odd,<br />
like a rippled reflection of myself. <br />
<br />
But recently,<br />
the skin around my eyes crinkle<br />
into origami boats.<br />
<br />
My lips are sails,<br />
unfurled to the corners of my face,<br />
and my teeth slip out in every wave of smiles. <br />
<br />
It’s involuntary—<br />
the joy that sparks inside me<br />
scuds through my nerves<br />
until it erupts into laughter.<br />
<br />
Perhaps we are already sailing into something better. <br />
<br />
(I've honestly never written a poem before so I'm still very bad at this. I love reading poetry so I'm hoping to better my writing skills. Please give me any and every criticism you have <3)]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Just keep sailing...<br />
<br />
I’ve never liked smiling,<br />
always thought I looked odd,<br />
like a rippled reflection of myself. <br />
<br />
But recently,<br />
the skin around my eyes crinkle<br />
into origami boats.<br />
<br />
My lips are sails,<br />
unfurled to the corners of my face,<br />
and my teeth slip out in every wave of smiles. <br />
<br />
It’s involuntary—<br />
the joy that sparks inside me<br />
scuds through my nerves<br />
until it erupts into laughter.<br />
<br />
Perhaps we are already sailing into something better. <br />
<br />
(I've honestly never written a poem before so I'm still very bad at this. I love reading poetry so I'm hoping to better my writing skills. Please give me any and every criticism you have <3)]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Small Memoriam - edit2]]></title>
			<link>https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27427.html</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 12 Jun 2026 19:49:27 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=6042">dukealien</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27427.html</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[Small Memoriam II<br />
<br />
<br />
He was no pet:  a common long-tailed mouse<br />
who got inside somehow, but in my house<br />
that little presence made me feel unkind<br />
for plotting his demise.  He’d watch behind<br />
me as I typed until I saw him, too,<br />
then flee when noticed.  Though I hatched a few<br />
ideas how to catch him, he was smart– <br />
he’d lick the bait from traps but always dart<br />
away on weightless feet, uncaught and free,<br />
declined a private room (my live-catch trap),<br />
approved noir cinema, left tiny crap<br />
on floors, chewed into food up on a shelf<br />
above my head. I couldn’t help myself,<br />
and, being human, bought technology:<br />
glue pads eluded prey psychology.<br />
<br />
I see him from the corner of my eye– <br />
his ghost, it must be, mouse that had to die.<br />
And that is best for him and me, I lie.<br />
<br />
<div style="margin:20px; margin-top:5px"><div class="quotetitle"><input class="button2 btnlite" type="button" value="Previous Versions" style="text-align:center;width:115px;margin:0px;padding:0px;" onclick="if (this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display != '') { this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display = '';      this.innerText = ''; this.value = 'Hide Pre Version/s'; } else { this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display = 'none'; this.innerText = ''; this.value = 'Previous Version/s'; }" /></div><div class="quotecontent"><div style="display: none;">
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="text-decoration: underline;" class="mycode_u">edit1;</span></span><br />
<br />
Small Memoriam<br />
<br />
Can anyone feel such sincere regret <br />
for acts which cannot be undone and yet<br />
on balance had to be accomplished?  Pet<br />
he was not, just a common long-tailed mouse<br />
who got inside somehow...  but in my house<br />
that smallest presence made me feel a louse<br />
for plotting his demise.  He’d sit and view<br />
computer movies ‘til I saw him, too,<br />
then run when noticed.  Though I had a few<br />
ideas how to catch him, nothing worked– <br />
he’d lick the bait from traps but never jerked<br />
them hard enough to trigger.  Still he lurked:<br />
declined a private room (my live-catch trap),<br />
approved noir cinema, left tiny crap<br />
on pantry floors, chewed through chips’ Mylar wrap... <br />
<br />
I see him from the corner of my eye– <br />
his ghost, it must be, mouse that had to die.<br />
And that is best for him and me, I lie.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="text-decoration: underline;" class="mycode_u">original version;</span></span><br />
<br />
It’s possible to feel sincere regret <br />
for acts which cannot be undone and yet<br />
on balance had to be accomplished.  Pet<br />
he was not, just a common long-tailed mouse<br />
who got inside somehow...  but in my house<br />
companionable, made me feel a louse<br />
for plotting his demise.  He’d sit and view<br />
computer movies ‘til I saw him, too,<br />
then run when noticed.  Though I had a few<br />
ideas how to catch him, nothing worked -<br />
he’d lick the bait from traps but never jerked<br />
it hard enough to snap.  And still he lurked:<br />
made my den his, disdained a live-catch trap,<br />
watched DVDs with me, left tiny crap<br />
on pantry floors, chewed through the Mylar wrap<br />
of chips and croutons, showing his good taste.<br />
I miss him now, for in my and his haste<br />
for solitude and food we laid him waste.<br />
<br />
I see him from the corner of my eye– <br />
his ghost, it must be, mouse that had to die.<br />
And that’s what’s best for him and me, I lie.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin:20px; margin-top:5px"><div class="quotetitle"><input class="button2 btnlite" type="button" value="View P.S." style="text-align:center;width:115px;margin:0px;padding:0px;" onclick="if (this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display != '') { this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display = '';      this.innerText = ''; this.value = 'Hide P.S.'; } else { this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display = 'none'; this.innerText = ''; this.value = 'View P.S.'; }" /></div><div class="quotecontent"><div style="display: none;">This is raw, little edited.  A sonnet and a half?</div></div></div>
<br />
</div></div></div>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Small Memoriam II<br />
<br />
<br />
He was no pet:  a common long-tailed mouse<br />
who got inside somehow, but in my house<br />
that little presence made me feel unkind<br />
for plotting his demise.  He’d watch behind<br />
me as I typed until I saw him, too,<br />
then flee when noticed.  Though I hatched a few<br />
ideas how to catch him, he was smart– <br />
he’d lick the bait from traps but always dart<br />
away on weightless feet, uncaught and free,<br />
declined a private room (my live-catch trap),<br />
approved noir cinema, left tiny crap<br />
on floors, chewed into food up on a shelf<br />
above my head. I couldn’t help myself,<br />
and, being human, bought technology:<br />
glue pads eluded prey psychology.<br />
<br />
I see him from the corner of my eye– <br />
his ghost, it must be, mouse that had to die.<br />
And that is best for him and me, I lie.<br />
<br />
<div style="margin:20px; margin-top:5px"><div class="quotetitle"><input class="button2 btnlite" type="button" value="Previous Versions" style="text-align:center;width:115px;margin:0px;padding:0px;" onclick="if (this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display != '') { this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display = '';      this.innerText = ''; this.value = 'Hide Pre Version/s'; } else { this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display = 'none'; this.innerText = ''; this.value = 'Previous Version/s'; }" /></div><div class="quotecontent"><div style="display: none;">
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="text-decoration: underline;" class="mycode_u">edit1;</span></span><br />
<br />
Small Memoriam<br />
<br />
Can anyone feel such sincere regret <br />
for acts which cannot be undone and yet<br />
on balance had to be accomplished?  Pet<br />
he was not, just a common long-tailed mouse<br />
who got inside somehow...  but in my house<br />
that smallest presence made me feel a louse<br />
for plotting his demise.  He’d sit and view<br />
computer movies ‘til I saw him, too,<br />
then run when noticed.  Though I had a few<br />
ideas how to catch him, nothing worked– <br />
he’d lick the bait from traps but never jerked<br />
them hard enough to trigger.  Still he lurked:<br />
declined a private room (my live-catch trap),<br />
approved noir cinema, left tiny crap<br />
on pantry floors, chewed through chips’ Mylar wrap... <br />
<br />
I see him from the corner of my eye– <br />
his ghost, it must be, mouse that had to die.<br />
And that is best for him and me, I lie.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="text-decoration: underline;" class="mycode_u">original version;</span></span><br />
<br />
It’s possible to feel sincere regret <br />
for acts which cannot be undone and yet<br />
on balance had to be accomplished.  Pet<br />
he was not, just a common long-tailed mouse<br />
who got inside somehow...  but in my house<br />
companionable, made me feel a louse<br />
for plotting his demise.  He’d sit and view<br />
computer movies ‘til I saw him, too,<br />
then run when noticed.  Though I had a few<br />
ideas how to catch him, nothing worked -<br />
he’d lick the bait from traps but never jerked<br />
it hard enough to snap.  And still he lurked:<br />
made my den his, disdained a live-catch trap,<br />
watched DVDs with me, left tiny crap<br />
on pantry floors, chewed through the Mylar wrap<br />
of chips and croutons, showing his good taste.<br />
I miss him now, for in my and his haste<br />
for solitude and food we laid him waste.<br />
<br />
I see him from the corner of my eye– <br />
his ghost, it must be, mouse that had to die.<br />
And that’s what’s best for him and me, I lie.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin:20px; margin-top:5px"><div class="quotetitle"><input class="button2 btnlite" type="button" value="View P.S." style="text-align:center;width:115px;margin:0px;padding:0px;" onclick="if (this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display != '') { this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display = '';      this.innerText = ''; this.value = 'Hide P.S.'; } else { this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display = 'none'; this.innerText = ''; this.value = 'View P.S.'; }" /></div><div class="quotecontent"><div style="display: none;">This is raw, little edited.  A sonnet and a half?</div></div></div>
<br />
</div></div></div>]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Don't press send.]]></title>
			<link>https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27412.html</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 03 Jun 2026 08:52:50 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=10407">JohnS</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27412.html</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[These days boys stay at home,<br />
in their room, computer going,<br />
talking to some AI friend,<br />
taking pictures <br />
and pressing send.<br />
<br />
<br />
They should be at the swimming hole,<br />
or by the river with a fishing pole.<br />
Hanging out, maybe smoking weed,<br />
playing records <br />
and building dreams.<br />
<br />
<br />
Hey kids,<br />
that pretty gal on your computer screen,<br />
isn’t what you think she is,<br />
it’s some guy lurking behind the scenes,<br />
don’t send those pictures or your life is his.<br />
<br />
<br />
Another boy took his life today,<br />
he didn’t have enough cash to pay<br />
to get his pictures back again.<br />
<br />
<br />
Any critique gratefully received.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[These days boys stay at home,<br />
in their room, computer going,<br />
talking to some AI friend,<br />
taking pictures <br />
and pressing send.<br />
<br />
<br />
They should be at the swimming hole,<br />
or by the river with a fishing pole.<br />
Hanging out, maybe smoking weed,<br />
playing records <br />
and building dreams.<br />
<br />
<br />
Hey kids,<br />
that pretty gal on your computer screen,<br />
isn’t what you think she is,<br />
it’s some guy lurking behind the scenes,<br />
don’t send those pictures or your life is his.<br />
<br />
<br />
Another boy took his life today,<br />
he didn’t have enough cash to pay<br />
to get his pictures back again.<br />
<br />
<br />
Any critique gratefully received.]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Postcard (after busker) - v2]]></title>
			<link>https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27399.html</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 29 May 2026 16:24:04 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=10845">matsunosuperfan</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27399.html</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">Postcard</span><br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">after busker</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Love is the only foolish </span><br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">adventuring we do,</span> a story <br />
most convincing in the absence <br />
of the truth.<br />
<br />
Part a pair of parrots, <br />
and they’ll pluck themselves to death, <br />
forgetting how to fly with only one<br />
pinfeather left.<br />
<br />
I looked for you in London, where the air<br />
is thick with memory—you weren’t there,<br />
but your shadow was. The cockles<br />
made me sick. <br />
<br />
Time accrues. It wraps around<br />
the throat and closes slow, until<br />
one morning, you just don’t wake up.<br />
And you’re the last to know. <br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
<div style="margin:20px; margin-top:5px"><div class="quotetitle"><input class="button2 btnlite" type="button" value="View Spoiler" style="text-align:center;width:115px;margin:0px;padding:0px;" onclick="if (this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display != '') { this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display = '';      this.innerText = ''; this.value = 'Hide Spoiler'; } else { this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display = 'none'; this.innerText = ''; this.value = 'View Spoiler'; }" /></div><div class="quotecontent"><div style="display: none;"> People had mixed feelings about the last stanza. upon reflection, I kind of love it, so I left it in :3 </div></div></div>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">Postcard</span><br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">after busker</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Love is the only foolish </span><br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">adventuring we do,</span> a story <br />
most convincing in the absence <br />
of the truth.<br />
<br />
Part a pair of parrots, <br />
and they’ll pluck themselves to death, <br />
forgetting how to fly with only one<br />
pinfeather left.<br />
<br />
I looked for you in London, where the air<br />
is thick with memory—you weren’t there,<br />
but your shadow was. The cockles<br />
made me sick. <br />
<br />
Time accrues. It wraps around<br />
the throat and closes slow, until<br />
one morning, you just don’t wake up.<br />
And you’re the last to know. <br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
<div style="margin:20px; margin-top:5px"><div class="quotetitle"><input class="button2 btnlite" type="button" value="View Spoiler" style="text-align:center;width:115px;margin:0px;padding:0px;" onclick="if (this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display != '') { this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display = '';      this.innerText = ''; this.value = 'Hide Spoiler'; } else { this.parentNode.parentNode.getElementsByTagName('div')[1].getElementsByTagName('div')[0].style.display = 'none'; this.innerText = ''; this.value = 'View Spoiler'; }" /></div><div class="quotecontent"><div style="display: none;"> People had mixed feelings about the last stanza. upon reflection, I kind of love it, so I left it in :3 </div></div></div>]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Because I once loved you there]]></title>
			<link>https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-26146.html</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 27 May 2026 01:00:21 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=8661">busker</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-26146.html</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[Apologies if I've posted this before, perhaps in a NaPM. It was sitting in my drafts for a long time awaiting rediscovery.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">Because I once loved you there</span><br />
<br />
Because I once loved you there<br />
London's precious to me.<br />
The poems written about you there <br />
were really letters to me.<br />
<br />
Love is the only foolish<br />
adventuring we do -<br />
no scraps with a ghostly, ghoulish,<br />
pirate clipper’s crew<br />
<br />
are had in life, spent sourly<br />
making bandit barons kings.<br />
Some places keep their pearly <br />
moon white angels’ wings<br />
<br />
because I loved you. Unaware,<br />
like ghosts and ghouls, you’ll haunt me there.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Apologies if I've posted this before, perhaps in a NaPM. It was sitting in my drafts for a long time awaiting rediscovery.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">Because I once loved you there</span><br />
<br />
Because I once loved you there<br />
London's precious to me.<br />
The poems written about you there <br />
were really letters to me.<br />
<br />
Love is the only foolish<br />
adventuring we do -<br />
no scraps with a ghostly, ghoulish,<br />
pirate clipper’s crew<br />
<br />
are had in life, spent sourly<br />
making bandit barons kings.<br />
Some places keep their pearly <br />
moon white angels’ wings<br />
<br />
because I loved you. Unaware,<br />
like ghosts and ghouls, you’ll haunt me there.]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[There Are Less Butterflies Now]]></title>
			<link>https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27387.html</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2026 04:00:07 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=10843">sodatabbed</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-27387.html</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[I wish I had more memories of nature to draw upon<br />
But there are less butterflies now<br />
And it was too hot to go outside.<br />
As a child, I chose<br />
Binoculars and a microscope as my prize<br />
For all those long days <br />
Doing math problems indoors<br />
With these instruments in my hands,<br />
I looked about, <br />
and realized I had nothing around me with which to make music.<br />
I sat back down in my chair<br />
And continued reading notes instead,<br />
As my tongue prodded the gap in my gums,<br />
Where a tooth used to be.<br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
Hello everyone, this is my first time posting in the Pen (and in fact, my first presenting a poem to critique, period). I chose a smaller one to start out, and posted here in the Basic Critique Forum since I'm a beginner to all this, but please feel free to critique as thoroughly as you like if you have the time to spare! I'm eager to learn and improve.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[I wish I had more memories of nature to draw upon<br />
But there are less butterflies now<br />
And it was too hot to go outside.<br />
As a child, I chose<br />
Binoculars and a microscope as my prize<br />
For all those long days <br />
Doing math problems indoors<br />
With these instruments in my hands,<br />
I looked about, <br />
and realized I had nothing around me with which to make music.<br />
I sat back down in my chair<br />
And continued reading notes instead,<br />
As my tongue prodded the gap in my gums,<br />
Where a tooth used to be.<br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
Hello everyone, this is my first time posting in the Pen (and in fact, my first presenting a poem to critique, period). I chose a smaller one to start out, and posted here in the Basic Critique Forum since I'm a beginner to all this, but please feel free to critique as thoroughly as you like if you have the time to spare! I'm eager to learn and improve.]]></content:encoded>
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