Lockdown edit 2 and fro!

[TranquillityBase]

Even the dug knows we're not compatible
How can that sideways look from your year old rescue
Splayed in one of his countless hair shedding comfort zones
Mean so much as I exit the indoors to the garden
For the all too frequent cigar and drink
Fuck it
My space I say

I work amidst the virus
Every other cunt has the luxury of zoom and work from home
Another reminder of my wasted youth and potential potential
I am working class 
Like it or fucking lump it
A key worker 
Applaud me you sighs

I'll build a fucking bar out here 
Countless hours planning 
Staring at the weeds
Not that they bother me 
Natures misunderstood 
Non conforming 
A garden bar won't solve this problem 
Plough what you will into it.

It's been a year and a half to remember 
A jab in the arm
A cure all
Dependant on how I react
This could be the best time of my life 
But for my children?
And the memories of a half filled parentage
With the vow of mine won't have that 
All thoughts in the world don't excuse a parents' purpose 

Back in from the garden to the gaff
Where my doubts can smoulder on 
That's where the happiness must lie
And only the dug they wanted knows what's what

Hi newbie, first off this isn't maudlin at all.  Angry, yes, but never maudlin.  You have a very authentic voice in this poem.

I did lose you once I got to the lines I highlighted.  I have a vague sense of what you are saying, but it's hard to follow.