I’m definitely the ‘simplifier’ type, so yeah, I can see that it would  still make sense without ‘blood’ and ‘yet’.  Slowing the rhythm may not be so important.

I’m gonna think on it awhile before pulling out the axe though. 

Thanks for checking in on it duke,

ps. I revised this one by elminating the word 'so', thus putting the accent on the word 'blood'.  I do think that 'blood' is important in this piece, and leave it up to the reader as to what may have caused 'much more blood'. This poem is based upon a combination of several people/events.

Messages In This Thread
Consanguinity - by Mark A Becker - 03-16-2023, 01:12 AM
RE: Consanguinity - by dukealien - 03-17-2023, 04:22 AM
RE: Consanguinity - by Mark A Becker - 03-18-2023, 03:08 AM

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