Grethel
#24
Knot,

This is less poetry and more prose/dialogue. A simple re-stating of the H&G story the only thing not from the original story is the insertion of the "it could be worse" phrase, which is only there to set up the punchline at the end: a long time to wait and little punch. Otherwise I don't really see the point. You've written much better. Having an off day? Smile

best,

dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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Messages In This Thread
Grethel - by Knot - 06-09-2021, 11:26 PM
RE: Grethel - by RiverNotch - 06-10-2021, 05:57 PM
RE: Grethel - by Knot - 06-10-2021, 07:47 PM
RE: Grethel - by RiverNotch - 06-10-2021, 07:55 PM
RE: Grethel - by Knot - 06-10-2021, 08:42 PM
RE: Grethel - by RiverNotch - 06-10-2021, 10:00 PM
RE: Grethel - by Knot - 06-10-2021, 10:09 PM
RE: Grethel - by Knot - 06-11-2021, 12:59 AM
RE: Grethel - by TranquillityBase - 06-11-2021, 01:41 PM
RE: Grethel - by Knot - 06-11-2021, 07:20 PM
RE: Grethel - by TranquillityBase - 06-11-2021, 09:23 PM
RE: Grethel - by Knot - 06-11-2021, 10:12 PM
RE: Grethel - by TranquillityBase - 06-12-2021, 02:26 AM
RE: Grethel - by Torkelburger - 06-11-2021, 11:02 PM
RE: Grethel - by Knot - 06-12-2021, 12:13 AM
RE: Grethel - by Torkelburger - 06-12-2021, 01:06 AM
RE: Grethel - by Knot - 06-12-2021, 01:55 AM
RE: Grethel - by dukealien - 06-12-2021, 05:31 AM
RE: Grethel - by Knot - 06-12-2021, 08:13 PM
RE: Grethel - by RiverNotch - 06-12-2021, 09:52 PM
RE: Grethel - by Knot - 06-13-2021, 01:05 AM
RE: Grethel - by RiverNotch - 06-13-2021, 04:54 PM
RE: Grethel - by Knot - 06-13-2021, 09:51 PM
RE: Grethel - by Erthona - 06-16-2021, 01:43 AM



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