A Requiem for a thought
#5
(06-08-2021, 06:21 AM)ZonaIncerta Wrote:  This chord sung in our chorus
With dead notes to ensure us
That the measures towards the clue
Render any lyric untrue   On my first read though, I got a big sense of mystery in vibe surrounding this stanza. The rhyme is solid, and sets up a sense of curiosity that draws you in. 

There is embellishment in thought   Loving the music vocabulary
Reverberating through the strings I sought   
And in precious, twisted melodies
Away from the music that the world sees   I feel like this idea is interesting, but could me a little more concrete. My Mind wonders, ideas like "music the world values, maybe a reference to the popular music industry? It could be a little more definite ex: Away from music that's traveled across seas."

Muting the noise of mouths unheard
Straining my ears to ignore the hurt   Awesome line and sentiment
While the soundless echo of my heart
Resonates with pain while falling apart   Music as emotional validation is what ties us all together.

I know I suffer from this condition known as "rithimomania", which is a word I just made up and means I have this annoying, but very persistent need to rhyme in my poems, even if it makes it a lot worse. I am trying to cure myself from this somewhat, but it's a work in progress.
I wish I had more constructive comments, but just loved the theme of this poem aton. Awesome idea! Thanks for the post
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Rob Cave
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Messages In This Thread
A Requiem for a thought - by ZonaIncerta - 06-08-2021, 06:21 AM
RE: A Requiem for a thought - by rowens - 06-08-2021, 06:28 AM
RE: A Requiem for a thought - by TranquillityBase - 06-08-2021, 11:13 AM
RE: A Requiem for a thought - by ZonaIncerta - 06-11-2021, 05:14 AM
RE: A Requiem for a thought - by Bunx - 06-11-2021, 08:03 AM
RE: A Requiem for a thought - by Brian Roberts - 07-13-2021, 11:53 PM



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