The Eleventh Month
#4
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Hi TqB,
I’ll leave you with these thoughts.

Angel is better, I thought the monster was the wood chipper.

I’d still shift ‘made all the way’ (see below)

now burnt yellow like cabins as if raided by Comanches ?

cut traces (all the examples that follow are ‘traces’)


The problem I have with your second stanza is I knew it was coming.
Grief and loss underpin the first, they didn’t need to be made explicit
in the second (except, possibly, for you). Smile


The wind at Lometa is always blowing
off the northern plains, or south from the Gulf.
Yesterday it blew across your footsteps
the charcoal pit, the gardens you started
around the cabin. That far flung empire
of guava outposts now burnt yellow
as if raided by Comanches

Today, it blows through the grove of oaks
we cleared of brush and cedar, tears
at the plastic tarps of the chipper,
huddling under a Spanish oak on the ridge,
The one we unboxed, reconstructed
and brought roaring to life, that orange metal
beast, made all the way from China

Tomorrow ...



Best, Knot





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Messages In This Thread
The Eleventh Month - by TranquillityBase - 03-07-2021, 03:11 AM
RE: The Eleventh Month - by Knot - 03-07-2021, 04:05 AM
RE: The Eleventh Month - by TranquillityBase - 03-08-2021, 01:04 AM
RE: The Eleventh Month - by Knot - 03-08-2021, 03:03 AM



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