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+--- Thread: Frog (/thread-26364.html)
Frog - Luchoracu - 04-09-2025
Amid tepid waters,
Afloat a lily pad,
Or perhaps a log,
A frog.
RE: Frog - Magpie - 04-09-2025
(04-09-2025, 03:20 AM)Luchoracu Wrote: Amid tepid waters,Not sure what this one is trying to say. I may be missing something here.
Afloat a lily pad,
Or perhaps a log,
A frog.
It's a nice enough image, although confusing a lily pad with a log may be seen as a bit of a stretch, yet at the same time this could be the crux of the poem, I'm not sure.
'Amid' and 'Afloat' seem like awkward word choices
To be honest looking at it like this
Amid tepid waters,
Afloat a lily pad
-- a frog
is a better image for me, I can picture it easily, although it has no 'aha' moment.
But as I said, I may be missing something.
RE: Frog - rowens - 04-09-2025
When I read this earlier, felt the same thing:
Amid tepid waters,
Afloat a lily pad
-- a frog
But I'm not sure about all the technical meter stuff when it comes to haikus.
As I joked to billy years ago: I always based my short poems on how short a time I spent writing them.