Once Upon a Time in Some Suburb - Printable Version +- Poetry Forum (https://www.pigpenpoetry.com) +-- Forum: Poetry Forum (https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/forum-1.html) +--- Forum: Miscellaneous Poetry (https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/forum-44.html) +--- Thread: Once Upon a Time in Some Suburb (/thread-22380.html) |
Once Upon a Time in Some Suburb - Tiger the Lion - 08-02-2019 Once Upon a Time in Some Suburb It was my night. A free night. I'd spent weeks planning it; finished my shift, walked the dog, paid the bills, worked the girlfriend, exhaled... you know, that kind of night... I started by smoking a little hash I'd been hoarding for just this occasion and chased it with three quick shots of tequila for balance. The Hip Flask would hold four more but I wanted to be sure so I filled it to overflowing, stuck it in my jacket pocket like an assassin's pistol and proceeded down Church Street to the Cineplex for the 8:50 premiere of the new Tarantino movie. I think it cost me about three-hundred bucks but I got the biggest buttered popcorn available with a super-sized Sprite. (Normally I prefer Coke but I thought the citrus of Sprite might play more friendly with the contents of my Hip-Flask and after all I had some alchemy going and needed to make sober calculations). Three hours later I emerged from the theater wrecked- not from the hash or even the tequila- they were just extras and their contracts were up. My gut insisted I was golden, but my head was swimming. I've been hungover three days now and thought it was time I talked about it. I shouldn't see movies alone. RE: Once Upon a Time in Some Suburb - dukealien - 08-03-2019 (08-02-2019, 01:01 PM)Tiger the Lion Wrote: Once Upon a Time in Some SuburbYeah, I've heard about that "Once Upon a Time..." deal. Still has some chops, the T has. Lovely evocation: LSD recurrence-style high, or downer so massive it feels like up? RE: Once Upon a Time in Some Suburb - billy - 08-08-2019 i try not to give feedback in miscellaneous but for me the start is weak. a suggestion would be to put the 1st 3 lines after the first stanza. for a poem with such brevity it's also pretty wordy, [something i don't usually like but here i really do like it] while it was brain deadening for the 1st person it gave me a bit of kick too. (08-02-2019, 01:01 PM)Tiger the Lion Wrote: Once Upon a Time in Some Suburb |