rowens
03-14-2013, 12:08 AM
I have this friend named Larry,
well, he’s not my friend,
but who is, right?
He’s always complaining down at the shop
that his new girlfriend always makes him pull out
when they have sex.
At first he was acting like
he didn’t want to tell us about something
that had happened the other day,
but then he went ahead and told us.
He was having sex with his girlfriend one afternoon
and she told him to pull out, and when he did
a bubble of semen formed and floated across the room.
His girlfriend never saw it,
but he watched it drift over the coffee table
and up by the shelf
till it popped next to one of her Robert Pattinson figurines.
He said they sat down and turned on some game show
where these young guys were supposed to be quiet,
while accomplishing some brainless tasks in a library,
but couldn’t stop giggling like faggots at one of those America’s Got Talent auditions;
then he started feeling dizzy,
and when a commercial came on,
he went and laid down in the bedroom.
After so many fast-paced dreams
he couldn’t remember even if he wanted to,
he woke up and saw his girlfriend on the edge of the bed,
masturbating with the Nintendo Wii controller.
Something about this didn’t sit well with him,
and he went to the bathroom and threw up.
In his post nausea bliss, he saw what looked like bubbles of sweat
popping in front of his eyes.
It reminded him of what he’d seen earlier,
and the scent of cum filled his nostrils
till he threw up violently again and again.
When he came out of the bathroom, he said
he saw his girlfriend asleep in the bed
with a cigarette in her mouth
and a cluster of glistening yellow Cap’n Crunch crumbs
clinging like tiny deer ticks all around her bellybutton.
The stud of her belly-ring was moist with grease
and had some gunk on it that looked
like the top of his phone
after he’d held it to his ear for a long time.
He laid down next to her and tried to go back to sleep.
It’d been a long time since he’d eaten anything,
and he’d had sex and thrown up several times that day.
He felt conflicted.
The next day, he stayed in bed.
I remember, it was the day he called in sick.
We asked what he thought all this amounted to:
He said he didn’t know,
but they made that morning after pill for a reason.
well, he’s not my friend,
but who is, right?
He’s always complaining down at the shop
that his new girlfriend always makes him pull out
when they have sex.
At first he was acting like
he didn’t want to tell us about something
that had happened the other day,
but then he went ahead and told us.
He was having sex with his girlfriend one afternoon
and she told him to pull out, and when he did
a bubble of semen formed and floated across the room.
His girlfriend never saw it,
but he watched it drift over the coffee table
and up by the shelf
till it popped next to one of her Robert Pattinson figurines.
He said they sat down and turned on some game show
where these young guys were supposed to be quiet,
while accomplishing some brainless tasks in a library,
but couldn’t stop giggling like faggots at one of those America’s Got Talent auditions;
then he started feeling dizzy,
and when a commercial came on,
he went and laid down in the bedroom.
After so many fast-paced dreams
he couldn’t remember even if he wanted to,
he woke up and saw his girlfriend on the edge of the bed,
masturbating with the Nintendo Wii controller.
Something about this didn’t sit well with him,
and he went to the bathroom and threw up.
In his post nausea bliss, he saw what looked like bubbles of sweat
popping in front of his eyes.
It reminded him of what he’d seen earlier,
and the scent of cum filled his nostrils
till he threw up violently again and again.
When he came out of the bathroom, he said
he saw his girlfriend asleep in the bed
with a cigarette in her mouth
and a cluster of glistening yellow Cap’n Crunch crumbs
clinging like tiny deer ticks all around her bellybutton.
The stud of her belly-ring was moist with grease
and had some gunk on it that looked
like the top of his phone
after he’d held it to his ear for a long time.
He laid down next to her and tried to go back to sleep.
It’d been a long time since he’d eaten anything,
and he’d had sex and thrown up several times that day.
He felt conflicted.
The next day, he stayed in bed.
I remember, it was the day he called in sick.
We asked what he thought all this amounted to:
He said he didn’t know,
but they made that morning after pill for a reason.