Poetry Forum

On the list shopping was the last wish
Like sniffer dogs; bargains the goal
Oh great, another frozen dish
Peas to join the rest in an artic hell hole

Stacked high, put aside, saved for later
Make soup like that fella on the telly,
The cute one; Slept with his waiter
More crap talk I’d like to give the welly

Those peas must long for days in the sun
Now frozen dreams long gone
Held captive, two for the price of one
Next isle and some to come, conversational ping pong

“Sorry you first” to wheels sporting death
Powered by hate and resentment dust
(Clean up on isle six) Yeah her blood, or maybe last breath
I think so?! I'd say she'd have guts!?

I’m pretty sure Darwin missed this place
Big savings; I think it’s too late
All the fish splash, pushing forward with pace
Hoping for feed, too eager to wait

Finding oblivious comfort in want.
I ask myself is this it for me
As strange beasts scrape knuckles and grunt
Almost human in each other’s misery

Patients like sharp packs in plastic bags
As I prickle with niggles of blame
I see hope in the distance, a signalling flag
And swear to myself “never again”

We move tentatively at snakes’ pleasure
In hopes to pay if we can
Or swallowed in search of forgotten treasure
Eye whites mould with knuckle “pay the man”

MAN! Little runt, I’d use a C
But I think it would call me to punch.
(My pleasure, have a good day) “ME?”
Honey this store, the sale, and then lunch

My ears ring; the plastic bag snaps

Oh my goodness this was unexpectedly amazing! The title, to me, made it seem mundane. However, after reading it I was surprised! "Arctic hell hole" "clean up on isle six" "never again" etc and especially the ending were very entertaining to me. I would recommend a different title because it might scare people off from an awesome read. This truly is one of my favorite poems that I've read because its not only hilarious but its also relatable (idk if I spelled that right, its 6 am here and I'm still buzzed lol)

Thanks jferrell for the kind words. I'm glad you liked it. I'm sure many men can relate I changed the title. I did want it to be a mundane title at first, just to set up the mood. But I do see what you mean

Quote:Oh my goodness this was unexpectedly amazing! The title, to me, made it seem mundane. However, after reading it I was surprised! "Arctic hell hole" "clean up on isle six" "never again" etc and especially the ending were very entertaining to me. I would recommend a different title because it might scare people off from an awesome read. This truly is one of my favorite poems that I've read because its not only hilarious but its also relatable (idk if I spelled that right, its 6 am here and I'm still buzzed lol)

I like this a lot. There are some amazing lines in there that I could read a few times and not tire of. Funny though, it actually makes me prickle a little. I think that's because it feels like a battle between superficial gender identity instead of against what I see as the main antagonist - consumerism or capitalist lifestyles or whatever. Not that the prickle is a bad thing at all. Poems are supposed to evoke, right? Overall, I think it's wonderful, entertaining, and well written.

I enjoyed this very much. Extremely funny.

Mona: thanks for the reply. I was not really thinking about gender roles with this. It was just an observation of some people I know which made me laugh. I hope the niggles were not to bad and I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.

Arriedo: I'm really glad you liked it. Thanks for reading