Poetry Forum

Lost, in this dark abyss of miss.
Amidst related strangers.
Bodies sway, and music assists in,
Rhythmic expression. Indignant confessions.
Malignant depression. Guilt to admit.
Friends surround me, inflicting,
Crowded loneliness.

Smothering in claustrophobic, open space.
Drinking a coke that's laced.
Emotions betrayed, after too many tastes.
Not, crying over spilled milk, just, mourning the waste.
Like, wasting too many days, on a person,
Who never would stay. Waiting for words
You never would say. Not "I love you",
That's, too cliché. Just longing to hear,
"I know you're imperfect, and I accept you that way."

So, I accept you that way.
And love you for who you are.
And for everything you're not.
And sitting at this party,
I don't try to place fault
As I...
Watch...
familiar strangers
Dance, and laugh, and talk.
Get drunk and confess
To people who'd rather
Swim in their ignorant bliss,
Than drown in the truth.
I watch dreams be sold
And bought.
These people I will never understand.
I watch.
Numb
Sinking deeper
Into this bottomless pit.
Adrift in this sea
Of longing and miss,
Everything we could have been.
But are not.

You are the only one
Who loves me,
Uncredited.
And the only one I 
share myself with,
Unedited.
Words have never been truer
You said it when,
I asked,
"So where does that leave us?"
You answered, "inside of love"

Hello Rye~murs. I had a read of you poem, and for me the first stanza and a half was really great. But for me after this it seemed to lose what it had. Don't get me wrong, there are some great parts after this, but also a lot of cliché's

Quote:Lost, in this dark abyss of miss.
Amidst related strangers.
Bodies sway, and music assists in,
Rhythmic expression. Indignant confessions.
Malignant depression. Guilt to admit.
Friends surround me, inflicting,
Crowded loneliness.

Quote:Smothering in claustrophobic, open space. Love the next two lines
Drinking a coke that's laced.
Emotions betrayed, after too many tastes.
Not, crying over spilled milk, just, mourning the waste. I like this, it uses cliché but with good reason
Like, wasting too many days, on a person,
Who never would stay. Waiting for words
You never would say. Not "I love you",
That's, too cliché. Just longing to hear,
"I know you're imperfect, and I accept you that way."

So, I accept you that way.
And love you for who you are.
And for everything you're not.
And sitting at this party,
I don't try to place fault
As I...
Watch...
familiar strangers
Dance, and laugh, and talk. The next section is good, but it could be great if made into a stronger image
Get drunk and confess
To people who'd rather
Swim in their ignorant bliss,
Than drown in the truth. That's from there to here
I watch dreams be sold
And bought.
These people I will never understand.
I watch.
Numb
Sinking deeper
Into this bottomless pit.
Adrift in this sea
Of longing and miss, Is this miss as in the person
Everything we could have been.
But are not.

You are the only one I'm not big on this stanza
Who loves me,
Uncredited.
And the only one I
share myself with,
Unedited.
Words have never been truer
You said it when,
I asked,
"So where does that leave us?"
You answered, "inside of love"

Hey there! This was really cool. You've got some great lines in there like "drinking a coke that's laced". Very nice. I think though that this feels like two poems and you could probably split them at the line "I know you're imperfect, and I accept you that way.". Maybe. It's just a thought. Either way, I dig it. Thanks for the read.