Poetry Forum

And so the cleansing begins.
Warm water and vinegar
fill the room like scented leaves
as I attack the vomit stains,

an alcoholic dowager
scrubbing her dress before evensong.
Then the bin bags, one by one,
stuffed with hole strewn socks,

papers, pornographic magazines
hidden under piles of filth.
Walking barefoot down the path,
the cobbles strewn with cat faeces

outside our little tenement,
I laugh at the mounting pile.
How could all this have accumulated
in a room the size of a custody cell?

All this because I pleasured myself
to the image of a naked form.
Lust must be wrenched from the body
with soap. I scour the wainscoting.

i like this though i hate the 'thus'
i like the dowager simile, it made me smile.

i know of the puke stains. and at first i thought thats what the poem was about but as i read
it came across as someone spring cleaning their life.
a good write jack

Why do hate the "thus"? Would "so" work better for you?
Thanks for your kind words and feedback Billy. Though certainly the puke stains weren't caused by alcohol, but too much dinner

i don't know why i think it's because it sounds to academic, thus you have your answer after all. i think so is better.
i never said but i don't think you need 'and' hehe. sorry jack jmo. though if you use 'so' then it would be needed.

I'll give you "so" but I'm not getting rid of "And" (would it be needed if I put "so"?) I like the feeling it gives of a story beginning halfway through.

Great work!
Enjoyed!
R.Y.

i said if you use so the and would work (imo) so my answer is yes

Oh I see fine, cool. Thanks again, Billy