Hungry Ghost
Tiny sub drawn by
hubris, curiosity–
iceberg kills again.
Watch out for that suboxone, hungry ghost, the desire is more righteous-feeling when your depths are cuffed by frozen rocks.
Of course, I'm always on fire, so the ice is simply compacted fecal rocks.
As this is one of those nature poems, you could see about the second line composed of abstraction.
Maybe switch "curiosity" with some animal or thing that's curious.
(06-28-2023, 04:17 AM)rowens Wrote: [ -> ]Watch out for that suboxone, hungry ghost, the desire is more righteous-feeling when your depths are cuffed by frozen rocks.
Had to look it up, but a fascinating personification of The Deep or the vanished but still present iceberg as addicted to exterminating life, helped along by small doses. If the medication is (a) little death, perhaps another (more aquatic) metaphor would be
fugu, giving the diner on puffer-fish a tiny, hopefully temporary, taste of mortality. Though suboxone is more complete and exact.
Quote:Of course, I'm always on fire, so the ice is simply compacted fecal rocks.
As this is one of those nature poems, you could see about the second line composed of abstraction.
Maybe switch "curiosity" with some animal or thing that's curious.
It's a senryu (formatted as a haiku) - deals with behavior
.
But what part of this iceberg is above water? Curiosity
Curiosity the iceberg
kills again?
I see that you probably meant it that way, Duke. Nice one.
(06-28-2023, 08:01 AM)busker Wrote: [ -> ]But what part of this iceberg is above water? Curiosity
Curiosity the iceberg
kills again?
I see that you probably meant it that way, Duke. Nice one.
As with many things so short, there are many ways to look at it. Mine was
Traditionally, it would be ghosts of those who died violently or horribly, seeking revenge or to untangle the untidiness of their unexpectedly ended lives, but the mass of them in this case is too great - Dresden, sort of thing.
(06-28-2023, 03:56 AM)dukealien Wrote: [ -> ]Hungry Ghost
Tiny sub drawn by
hubris, curiosity–
iceberg kills again.
Hi Duke,
Enjoyed this one, as usual. Given the form it would be difficult to translate the second line into images. Though I do like the thought of little raccoon paws working the shore. I also like how you used the iconic image of an iceberg to relate back to this current tragedy as both resulted from the themes of you short poem. well done.
bryn
(06-28-2023, 10:09 AM)brynmawr1 Wrote: [ -> ] (06-28-2023, 03:56 AM)dukealien Wrote: [ -> ]Hungry Ghost
Tiny sub drawn by
hubris, curiosity–
iceberg kills again.
Hi Duke,
Enjoyed this one, as usual. Given the form it would be difficult to translate the second line into images. Though I do like the thought of little raccoon paws working the shore. I also like how you used the iconic image of an iceberg to relate back to this current tragedy as both resulted from the themes of you short poem. well done.
bryn
The recent tragedy really deserves a better poem than mine - along the lines of
then it was unsinkable
today, uncrushable
with a side of being thought alive but in fact dead for days... but thinking seems to have dashed on into blame and envy, then forgetting after those expire.
(06-28-2023, 03:56 AM)dukealien Wrote: [ -> ]Hungry Ghost
Tiny sub drawn by
hubris, curiosity–
iceberg kills again.
This is great. I'm always impressed with poems that can condense so much in such a small selection of words. And this does that to perfection. If only you wrote the news I'd be more inclined to read it.