Poetry Forum

“Bella caribeña”
Rendered
just how he liked her:
Painted and
lips touching.

(05-28-2023, 09:08 PM)Valerie Please Wrote: [ -> ]“Bella caribeña”
Rendered
just how he liked her:
Painted and
lips touching.

I'm baffled to some extent, but it's a pleasant kind of baffle.

TqB

(05-29-2023, 03:39 AM)TranquillityBase Wrote: [ -> ]

(05-28-2023, 09:08 PM)Valerie Please Wrote: [ -> ]“Bella caribeña”
Rendered
just how he liked her:
Painted and
lips touching.

I'm baffled to some extent, but it's a pleasant kind of baffle.

TqB

Ha! Thanks . . . the original title was "Portrait of His Ex-Girlfriend" but I wanted to make it more spare. It's good to know when it's too spare.

This is nice, I think you might want to remove the 'and' though. The title tells us there's a painting, and removing the 'and' would add a nice image of lips with lipstick 'painted lips'.