morning helps heal
when receiving,
a crisper image—
you want to take it on the tongue
like childhood, the conversation
you used to have with your father—
to test the possibility of prayer
somehow gives you another
chance at rational living—
like quintic function, an odd
degree of separation from radical
sin
(03-20-2023, 11:56 PM)71degrees Wrote: [ -> ]morning helps heal
when receiving,
a crisper image—
you want to take it on the tongue
like childhood, the conversation
you used to have with your father— ... the thesis of the poem is an enigma up to this point, but it's fine. I find all the lines flat. Perhaps too many words.
to test the possibility of prayer
somehow gives you another
chance at rational living— ... by this point, it's too much guesswork. I don't know what you're trying to say. Maybe I'm that type of reader who needs things spelled out a bit more.
like quintic function, an odd
degree of separation from radical
sin .. I loved this strophe, but only because of the reference to the quintic, which has no general solution for its roots (radicals). I like it because I - probably - am correctly interpreting the reference. However, that has nothing to do with enjoying the strophe as a part of the poem. I'm thoroughly confused by the thesis at the end of it all.
(03-20-2023, 11:56 PM)71degrees Wrote: [ -> ]morning helps heal
when receiving,
a crisper image—
you want to take it on the tongue
like childhood, the conversation
you used to have with your father— ... the thesis of the poem is an enigma up to this point, but it's fine. I find all the lines flat. Perhaps too many words.
to test the possibility of prayer
somehow gives you another
chance at rational living— ... by this point, it's too much guesswork. I don't know what you're trying to say. Maybe I'm that type of reader who needs things spelled out a bit more.
like quintic function, an odd
degree of separation from radical
sin .. I loved this strophe, but only because of the reference to the quintic, which has no general solution for its roots (radicals). I like it because I - probably - am correctly interpreting the reference. However, that has nothing to do with enjoying the strophe as a part of the poem. I'm thoroughly confused by the thesis at the end of it all.
Ah - just saw Mark's crit, and there's a reference to the Eucharist. Perhaps that's why I didn't get it.
(03-21-2023, 01:41 AM)Mark A Becker Wrote: [ -> ]Hello degrees-
Now that I'm retired I have plenty of time to work- to give full time consideration to poetry.
I find this new piece of yours divines an almost solution using holy mathematics, in a very creative way. At least for me...
(03-20-2023, 11:56 PM)71degrees Wrote: [ -> ]Polynomial =many terms. An appropriate title
morning helps heal
when receiving, the eucharist is how I read it
a crisper image—
you want to take it on the tongue reinforces my interpretation of the eucharist
like childhood, the conversation
you used to have with your father— I guess a capital 'F' for 'father' would've been too obvious- let the reader decide. I remember my whole-hearted belief as a child, which has waned with regard to dogma/doctrine, but still remains strong on a purely personal level.
to test the possibility of prayer a beautiful phrase. I still take this test, knowing I may never come up with a correct answer.
somehow gives you another
chance at rational living— amen
like quintic function, an odd
degree of separation from radical
sin this last stanza is where I got my phrase 'holy matematics'. I don't know what this means, yet somehow understand it. I love when that happens.
This piece reminds me of that quiet moment of prayer following communion. It adds up quite well in my reading.
Thanks for posting this subtle poem,
Mark
ps- I think 'irrational sin' may resonate better with 'rational living' from the previous stanza. That, and the allusion to irrational numbers having the quality of being uncountably infinite, and the often irrational/illogoical nature of sin. And '...separation from irrational sin' sounds sonically pleasing.
Very much like the logic behind irrational sin. Thank you.
FYI: Happy Retirement.
(03-21-2023, 06:10 PM)busker Wrote: [ -> ] (03-20-2023, 11:56 PM)71degrees Wrote: [ -> ]morning helps heal
when receiving,
a crisper image—
you want to take it on the tongue
like childhood, the conversation
you used to have with your father— ... the thesis of the poem is an enigma up to this point, but it's fine. I find all the lines flat. Perhaps too many words.
to test the possibility of prayer
somehow gives you another
chance at rational living— ... by this point, it's too much guesswork. I don't know what you're trying to say. Maybe I'm that type of reader who needs things spelled out a bit more.
like quintic function, an odd
degree of separation from radical
sin .. I loved this strophe, but only because of the reference to the quintic, which has no general solution for its roots (radicals). I like it because I - probably - am correctly interpreting the reference. However, that has nothing to do with enjoying the strophe as a part of the poem. I'm thoroughly confused by the thesis at the end of it all.
(03-20-2023, 11:56 PM)71degrees Wrote: [ -> ]morning helps heal
when receiving,
a crisper image—
you want to take it on the tongue
like childhood, the conversation
you used to have with your father— ... the thesis of the poem is an enigma up to this point, but it's fine. I find all the lines flat. Perhaps too many words.
to test the possibility of prayer
somehow gives you another
chance at rational living— ... by this point, it's too much guesswork. I don't know what you're trying to say. Maybe I'm that type of reader who needs things spelled out a bit more.
like quintic function, an odd
degree of separation from radical
sin .. I loved this strophe, but only because of the reference to the quintic, which has no general solution for its roots (radicals). I like it because I - probably - am correctly interpreting the reference. However, that has nothing to do with enjoying the strophe as a part of the poem. I'm thoroughly confused by the thesis at the end of it all.
Ah - just saw Mark's crit, and there's a reference to the Eucharist. Perhaps that's why I didn't get it.
...the fact I don't write write 'universal' poetry isn't your fault. This one has a specific audience. Thank you for your time with it. Muchly appreciated. Believe it or not, the original title was Eucharist. Thought it too pedestrian once I decided to go w/the math/equation POV.