When I was a bouncer
In a brothel
I often heard
A madam taught her girls:
Keep dignity,
Under a client,
Don't fuss!
Alas.
Not many a professional
Remember now her words ...
for me this is the best one of yours
i've read Ris.
keep dignity
under a client
don't fuss.
were three superb lines and ones that got a wry smile out of me.
thanks for the read.
Hi,
I like this. I like the short line structure of it, and I think the madam's advice was really good. If I were to make any revision suggestions they would simply be these:
(02-23-2011, 02:45 AM)Ris Yerg Wrote: [ -> ]When I was a bouncer
In a brothel
I often heard --you could pull up "a madam" to have a parallel structure with "a bouncer earlier
A madam taught her girls:--I think you may want teach here instead of taught
Keep dignity,
Under a client,
Don't fuss!--these lines are excellent.
Alas.
Not many a professional
Remember now her words ...
Thanks for the read.
Best,
Todd