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Full Version: Missing by Keith
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It was a strange sensation,
lying upside-down on a grass bank,
looking at the sun to see flying saucers. 
I remember a tear as they took you,
your face a back seat white spot.

I've watched the skies for your return,
my body has been snatched
but it still thinks and talks the same,
my skin is thin and easily peeled,
it would reveal a younger man than me.

Did you ever try to escape
or settle in some place with me erased,
an artist amongst the zebra
with too much water on your brush.

You will recognise me if you look,
I'm lying upside-down, staring at the sun
waiting for the same sensation.
My colours now are black and white,
the stripes remind me to forget.




*The original thread can be found here.
just read this one Leanne. nice to see one from miscellaneous get the hog-light

an artist amongst the zebra
with too much water on your brush.

are two stunning lines great choice.
Sometimes a poem is its own comment. This one defeated criticism.
really well deserved. The more I read this one the more I get from it and love it.
Thank you very much for considering this poem and posting it here, it means a great deal to me, as do your kind comments. Much appreciated, Keith
So....SO good
You have a gift
-V
(06-10-2016, 02:40 PM)Vanity Wrote: [ -> ]So....SO good
You have a gift
-V

You are very kind V thank you. Keith

just mercedes

Yay for Keith!

Leanne is right - I couldn't think of a word to say about this poem when I read it. It has such immediate impact, from the back seat white spot of a face, to the overloaded brush. I should have said so.
I remember commenting on this one. It might be my favorite poem by Keith. Well deserved spotlight!
Many thanks to Todd and mercedes I really appreciat your kind comments. Best Keith
Love this & the line .... An artist amongst the Zebra ... is fantastic!
Thank you, Clairelou
Great work Keith Smile

I especially like the last two lines. It's an ending that sticks with me as a reader.