Poetry Forum

Turnpike Terror

In the asphalt sea the sharks and me
Strange multi-colored fish are we.

With a flash of red and blue in review,
a Great-White sped toward me today.
Its drab counter shaded exterior,
HOT TO CHASE.

Believing that I was its target,
A cold current of fear struck me,
And I slowed in my lane.

With a swerve of its tail and fenders
my two-ton aggressor propelled.
Its drab counter shaded exterior,
HOT TO CHASE: someone else.

Thankful that I was not its target,
A blue calm struck me,
and my migration continued.

In the asphalt sea, the sharks, and me
Strange multi-colored fish are we.

All of us weak to the shriek of sirens.

I found quite a bit of the content clever, especially the sirens at the end. My only real disappointment is that it didn't keep to the fun meter it established in the first two lines.

(11-12-2013, 11:59 PM)Todd Wrote: [ -> ]I found quite a bit of the content clever, especially the sirens at the end. My only real disappointment is that it didn't keep to the fun meter it established in the first two lines.

I don't know todd, i was afraid after i wrote that opening line that i would muck it up. I haven't written a poem that rhymes thru-out in years. Generally i only leave a rhyme in my work when it comes to me by accident as that one did, but i like the contrast.
Cheers,
Chazz

Oh yes I like the rhyming lines a lot, I would love to see that developed. Having said that I liked the rest of it too. I really liked the two ton aggressor description of the police car. Also the fish analogy was clever.