Would

[jadielue]

If you watch the
wood - the wood
will break.

[billy]

for me it work better if you used a would in the poems body.
still, it's a nice concept.

[heslopian]

This reminds me of this short poem by Philip Larkin:

This is the first thing
I have understood:
Time is the echo of an axe
Within a wood.

***

Like Billy I enjoyed the concept, but I think it needs fleshing out more. Something this short should work like an aphorism. Something that doesn't have to be clarified but grabs the reader with its wisdom right away.

[Ris Yerg]

Short. Nice. Thought provoking. Clever.
I like it!
R.Y.

[jadielue]

Thank you.