No Dollar Blues

[Wjames]

Offer to buy a cigarette
off a man smoking outfront the bar
for a loonie, and he’ll smile
and give the smoke for free.

Ask the man if you can bum one,
and watch his eyes shift
left and right, before he says
the pack is empty.

[Lizzie]

Offer to buy a cigarette
off a man smoking outfront the bar
for a loonie, and he’ll smile -- Nice possible double meaning with loonie. Obviously it's the currency, but also the slight suggestion of the absurdity of the situation. 
and give the smoke for free.

Ask the man if you can bum one,
and watch his eyes shift -- Nice "showing" with the eyes shifting. Can be the tone shifting or his body language shifting. 
left and right, before he says
the pack is empty.

Imagine what he'd give for a toonie.....
Bad joke, I know. 

I miss second-hand Du Maurier smoke. Never had the lungs to smoke myself, but enjoyed it vicariously in university. We don't have anything quite like it in the States. 

There's an implication that the situation would have gone down differently if you'd been trying to get a smoke from a woman. Might be an interesting contrast to include, if you deemed it germane.

[Wjames]

Offer to buy a cigarette
off a man smoking outfront the bar
for a loonie, and he’ll smile -- Nice possible double meaning with loonie. Obviously it's the currency, but also the slight suggestion of the absurdity of the situation. 
and give the smoke for free.

Ask the man if you can bum one,
and watch his eyes shift -- Nice "showing" with the eyes shifting. Can be the tone shifting or his body language shifting. 
left and right, before he says
the pack is empty.

Imagine what he'd give for a toonie.....
Bad joke, I know. 

I miss second-hand Du Maurier smoke. Never had the lungs to smoke myself, but enjoyed it vicariously in university. We don't have anything quite like it in the States. 

There's an implication that the situation would have gone down differently if you'd been trying to get a smoke from a woman. Might be an interesting contrast to include, if you deemed it germane.

Hey Lizzie, thanks for reading. 

I quit smoking a year or two ago, but I still love it and will ocassionally ask to buy/bum one when I can't help myself (I know if I buy a pack I will not be able to stop).

It's interesting to think about how it might be different asking a woman, I hadn't thought about that, but it probably would be.

[Tiger the Lion]

Offer to buy a cigarette
off a man smoking outfront the bar
for a loonie, and he’ll smile
and give the smoke for free.

Ask the man if you can bum one,
and watch his eyes shift
left and right, before he says
the pack is empty.

Quick question, WJ. Does "outfront the bar" mean to suggest the man is in a good mood? High spirits? Does it change the poem if the man is approached "outfront the tax office", for example. If they have a fair demeanor I will usually give them 2 or 3. If I don't like their face then I'm the guy in the 2nd strophe.

[Wjames]

Offer to buy a cigarette
off a man smoking outfront the bar
for a loonie, and he’ll smile
and give the smoke for free.

Ask the man if you can bum one,
and watch his eyes shift
left and right, before he says
the pack is empty.

Quick question, WJ. Does "outfront the bar" mean to suggest the man is in a good mood? High spirits? Does it change the poem if the man is approached "outfront the tax office", for example. If they have a fair demeanor I will usually give them 2 or 3. If I don't like their face then I'm the guy in the 2nd strophe.

Hey Tiger, I hadn't thought of that - in front of a bar is just the most common place I see people smoking and want one for myself.

I like that thought, though, I'm sure it's true - if you ask someone who's having a good time, they're probably much more likely to be generous.