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Lorem Ipsum
I'll be gone soon,
better things are coming.
Forget about this stuff,
it's not important.
Just wait.
Posts: 394
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Joined: Jan 2013
This is lovely, Semicircle.
A wonderful metaphor using a term I had never heard before reading it and giving it a google.
Our little problems will all be gone soon enough - reading this poem is like taking a long, slow breath.
"A hippopotamus is just a really cool opatamus."
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Thought-provoking, I had to Google it too.
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Well slicer-
Good short one here- especially 'just wait' at the end. Don't know that 'yeah, and' is needed though- it only slowed me down heading for that punch line. Yeah, and it ain't adding anything for me.
I guess we're all sort of place holders.
Thanks,
Mark
Posts: 241
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Thanks for the words Wjames and galaxitchi
I figured the 'yeah and' made the poem seem more like a confession
but it does seem to be more effective without something to connect to.
Thanks Mark.