Lorem Ipsum
#1
Lorem Ipsum

I'll be gone soon,
better things are coming.

Forget about this stuff,
it's not important.

Just wait.
Reply
#2
This is lovely, Semicircle.

A wonderful metaphor using a term I had never heard before reading it and giving it a google.

Our little problems will all be gone soon enough - reading this poem is like taking a long, slow breath.
"A hippopotamus is just a really cool opatamus."
Reply
#3
Thought-provoking, I had to Google it too.
Reply
#4
Well slicer-

Good short one here- especially 'just wait' at the end. Don't know that 'yeah, and' is needed though- it only slowed me down heading for that punch line. Yeah, and it ain't adding anything for me.

I guess we're all sort of place holders.

Thanks,
Mark
Reply
#5
Thanks for the words Wjames and galaxitchi


I figured the 'yeah and' made the poem seem more like a confession

but it does seem to be more effective without something to connect to.

Thanks Mark.
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!