Cats

[galaxitchi]

Cats

I read once

that cats always land on their feet, meeting 
gravity with the seasonal affective grace 
of a ballerina in spring.

I wondered

if their acrobatic affinity extended to other feats,
how high could their claws carry them in pursuit
of feline proclivity?

I would watch

and wonder if I too could learn the
primal skill enabling them to defy descents
which would crack bones-

if I were to attempt such audacious occupations.

[TranquillityBase]

Cats



I read once



that cats always land on their feet, meeting 

gravity with the seasonal affective grace 

of a ballerina in spring.



I wondered



if their acrobatic affinity extended to other feats,

how high could their claws carry them in pursuit

of feline proclivity?



I would watch



and wonder if I too could learn the

primal skill enabling them to defy descents

which would crack bones-



if I were to attempt such audacious occupations.

Welcome (back) to Pig Pen,

I think you might rework your line breaks somewhat:

I read once

that cats always land on their feet, 
meeting gravity with the seasonal affective grace 
of a ballerina in spring.                                          I'm reading this as referring to the season.  If so, it seems unnecessary since ballerinas dance year round

I wondered

if their acrobatic affinity extended to other feats,
how high could their claws carry them
in pursuit of feline proclivity?

I would watch 

and wonder if I too could learn 
the primal skill enabling them to defy descents
which would crack bones- 

if I were to attempt 
such audacious occupations.

TqB

[galaxitchi]

Cats



I read once



that cats always land on their feet, meeting 

gravity with the seasonal affective grace 

of a ballerina in spring.



I wondered



if their acrobatic affinity extended to other feats,

how high could their claws carry them in pursuit

of feline proclivity?



I would watch



and wonder if I too could learn the

primal skill enabling them to defy descents

which would crack bones-



if I were to attempt such audacious occupations.

Welcome (back) to Pig Pen,

I think you might rework your line breaks somewhat:

I read once

that cats always land on their feet, 
meeting gravity with the seasonal affective grace 
of a ballerina in spring.                                          I'm reading this as referring to the season.  If so, it seems unnecessary since ballerinas dance year round

I wondered

if their acrobatic affinity extended to other feats,
how high could their claws carry them
in pursuit of feline proclivity?

I would watch 

and wonder if I too could learn 
the primal skill enabling them to defy descents
which would crack bones- 

if I were to attempt 
such audacious occupations.

TqB

Thanks so much! I knew the structure needed work, but didn’t know where to begin!

[busker]

Cats

I read once

that cats always land on their feet, meeting 
gravity with the seasonal affective grace 
of a ballerina in spring.

I wondered

if their acrobatic affinity extended to other feats,
how high could their claws carry them in pursuit
of feline proclivity?

I would watch

and wonder if I too could learn the
primal skill enabling them to defy descents
which would crack bones-

if I were to attempt such audacious occupations.

 
I loved S1. I’d do away with “in spring” too.
I think there’s a chance to make this into a nice reflective poem about something other than just cats. The landing on their feet being extended to a metaphor about how perhaps the writer is struggling to land on her feet in life, and things of that nature.
I had that “a-ha, I wonder what the poet had to say now” expectation after S1.
Nice one.

[galaxitchi]

Cats

I read once

that cats always land on their feet, meeting 
gravity with the seasonal affective grace 
of a ballerina in spring.

I wondered

if their acrobatic affinity extended to other feats,
how high could their claws carry them in pursuit
of feline proclivity?

I would watch

and wonder if I too could learn the
primal skill enabling them to defy descents
which would crack bones-

if I were to attempt such audacious occupations.

 
I loved S1. I’d do away with “in spring” too.
I think there’s a chance to make this into a nice reflective poem about something other than just cats. The landing on their feet being extended to a metaphor about how perhaps the writer is struggling to land on her feet in life, and things of that nature.
I had that “a-ha, I wonder what the poet had to say now” expectation after S1.
Nice one.

Thanks for the feedback! Oh no, I’m trying (and failing?) to leave that moody, too many abstractions phase behind, lol.