Hunter of Nightwatch

[Poetry In Motion]

Hunter of Nightwatch
listens carefully with elven-shaped ears.
See what is lurking in the night
then you will hunt with ease.
Strike with your bow, an arrow of choice.
Leave all dead in your wake, this is a warning
to all those eavesdropping on his kill.
Sound buoys along in one’s ear, you are dead
hearing his crunchy footsteps.
Smell the rotting flesh from his enchanting slaughter.
Slaughter in the woods! Slaughter in the woods!
They shout.

[TranquillityBase]

Hunter of Nightwatch
listens carefully with elven-shaped ears.            listen / your elven-shaped ears
See what is lurking in the night
then you will hunt with ease.
Strike with your bow, an arrow of choice.
Leave all dead in your wake, this is a warning
to all those eavesdropping on his kill.                     your
Sound buoys along in one’s ear, you are dead
hearing his crunchy footsteps.
Smell the rotting flesh from his enchanting slaughter.
Slaughter in the woods! Slaughter in the woods!
They shout.

PIM,

A few suggested changes to keep the poem consistent since you are addressing the Hunter through most of the poem.  As for content, this is a pretty strange poem (not a criticism) that feels like it comes from a larger mythology.  I looked up "Hunter of Nightwatch" and it referenced "the Nightwatch series".  Is that your source of inspiration?

It ends somewhat abruptly, and a few more lines, again addressing the Hunter, some kind of summing up, would improve the ending..

TqB

[Poetry In Motion]

Hunter of Nightwatch
listens carefully with elven-shaped ears.            listen / your elven-shaped ears
See what is lurking in the night
then you will hunt with ease.
Strike with your bow, an arrow of choice.
Leave all dead in your wake, this is a warning
to all those eavesdropping on his kill.                     your
Sound buoys along in one’s ear, you are dead
hearing his crunchy footsteps.
Smell the rotting flesh from his enchanting slaughter.
Slaughter in the woods! Slaughter in the woods!
They shout.

PIM,

A few suggested changes to keep the poem consistent since you are addressing the Hunter through most of the poem.  As for content, this is a pretty strange poem (not a criticism) that feels like it comes from a larger mythology.  I looked up "Hunter of Nightwatch" and it referenced "the Nightwatch series".  Is that your source of inspiration?

It ends somewhat abruptly, and a few more lines, again addressing the Hunter, some kind of summing up, would improve the ending..

TqB

It wasn't my source of inspiration, I originally wrote this for Napowrimo so it i was pretty full of inspiration when I wrote this. It was my own idea. thanks for your critique.

[Mark A Becker]

Hello Motion-

Hunter of Nightwatch  I have only changed one word, and deleted a couple
listens with elven ears.
What is lurking in the night
you will hunt with ease.
Strike with your bow, leave
all dead in your wake
a warning to those eavesdropping
on your kill.
Sound buoys along in one’s ear, you are dead  this whole part needs to be re-worked
hearing his crunchy footsteps.
Smell the rotting flesh from his enchanting slaughter.
Slaughter in the woods! Slaughter in the woods!
They shout.

Tighten up the ending and you could have an interesting tale.

Mark

[Poetry In Motion]

Hello Motion-

Hunter of Nightwatch  I have only changed one word, and deleted a couple
listens with elven ears.
What is lurking in the night
you will hunt with ease.
Strike with your bow, leave
all dead in your wake
a warning to those eavesdropping
on your kill.
Sound buoys along in one’s ear, you are dead  this whole part needs to be re-worked
hearing his crunchy footsteps.
Smell the rotting flesh from his enchanting slaughter.
Slaughter in the woods! Slaughter in the woods!
They shout.

Tighten up the ending and you could have an interesting tale.

Mark

Nice job Mark! Hopefully when I go through revisions it will turn out a little better than this.

[rowens]

PoetryGlisten, 

I'm sorry for failing you in the past. Let's make up from where we're getting off the floor.
Hey?.Alright!


Hunter of Nightwatch
listens carefully with elven-shaped ears.


Best, in these not specific situations to go all the way elfears


See what is lurking in the night
then you will hunt with ease.


I'm reading this poem line by line before I read it in toto. So whatever I kiss, I mean,  .. miss is my fault.

Those last two lines make a lot of sense to me.

Strike with your bow, an arrow of choice.

Stike, my excitement is making me misspell words, before doing, the doing you chose.


Leave all dead in your wake, this is a warning
to all those eavesdropping on his kill.



Do unto others as you would do anyway. 



Sound buoys along in one’s ear, you are dead
hearing his crunchy footsteps.

Crunchy sounds lively


Smell the rotting flesh from his enchanting slaughter.
Slaughter in the woods! Slaughter in the woods!
They shout.


I wanted to watch Northman because of the girl who gets naked in it. You get to see her naked bum.
The electricity of tribal warfare, and the solitaire beyond the tribe is the italics not mustered but lightning.
Fire, on the ground, with people, burn.