Memento by TranquilityBase
#1
Memento

I was with him when he found it
discarded among cedar and limestone,
the skull of an 8-point buck that he plated
with chips from a shattered mirror.

A record of my son’s painstaking labor -
breaking the mirror, selecting the chips,
affixing them, patient and compelled.

I look into the skull’s mirrors,
meditate on the chaos of my visage
reflected in a kaleidoscope of loss.

In this curiosity of bone and silvered glass,
did he see an indifferent universe 
where his future would be denied?

It’s a universe we share. He is father to my grief
and I am father to his memory - this skull
a jagged memento of shadow and light.



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The original can be found here .
The Soufflé isn’t the soufflé; the soufflé is the recipe. --Clara 
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#2
Well done on this one. A truly beautiful and moving poem.
The Soufflé isn’t the soufflé; the soufflé is the recipe. --Clara 
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#3
It took some hard work for Tim to craft this poem, and I’m so glad to see it stand in the spotlight.
i offer a standing ovation,
Mark
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#4
Tranquilitybase is a force of nature, great work!
Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches
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#5
(05-10-2023, 12:32 AM)Mark A Becker Wrote:  It took some hard work for Tim to craft this poem, and I’m so glad to see it stand in the spotlight.
i offer a standing ovation,
Mark

Special thanks to Mark, who kept after me on this one, but also Velasco and Brynmawr.  

Poetry is a harsh mistress sometimes, but the experience is worth it.  I am three years old (in Pig Pen years) but feel like I've learned more about writing poems in those 3 years than in the previous.....I won't say.  It's too ridiculous.
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#6
Well deserved, Tim. The original was strong and you refined it nicely without losing the punch.  Thumbsup
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