Fixed point
#1
Hidden under the carpet, a mark–

Turn away, and it’s gone.
Look under, it will disappear.

The mark is there–

When you get up close,
it’ll whisper in your ear,

and tell you all the nice things 
you want to hear.
"Whenever is a really long never"
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#2
(08-01-2022, 01:09 PM)Semicircle Wrote:  Hidden under the carpet, a mark–

Turn away, and it’s gone.
Look under, it will disappear.

The mark is there–

When you get up close,
it’ll whisper in your ear,

and tell you all the nice things 
you want to hear.
Hi Sc,
I like the way this reads.  My only comment would be that "mark" might be a little vague or generic.  I am struggling a little to understand what the mark is.
Glad to see you posting.
Take care,
bryn
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#3
This interesting poem has me in a tumult. My logic leads me to think of "sweeping things under the carpet" Then magic enters. The "mark" that was swept under the carpet becomes somthing able to whisper sweet nothings in my ear. My only question is, is it your intention to be so ambiguous and vague as to what the "Mark" is?
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#4
(Yesterday, 01:09 PM)בַּרְזֶל Wrote:  This interesting poem has me in a tumult. My logic leads me to think of "sweeping things under the carpet" Then magic enters. The "mark" that was swept under the carpet becomes somthing able to whisper sweet nothings in my ear. My only question is, is it your intention to be so ambiguous and vague as to what the "Mark" is?

The "mark" is a fixed point, questioning its existence denies you of seeing it.
"Whenever is a really long never"
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#5
(Yesterday, 02:39 PM)Semicircle Wrote:  
(Yesterday, 01:09 PM)בַּרְזֶל Wrote:  This interesting poem has me in a tumult. My logic leads me to think of "sweeping things under the carpet" Then magic enters. The "mark" that was swept under the carpet becomes somthing able to whisper sweet nothings in my ear. My only question is, is it your intention to be so ambiguous and vague as to what the "Mark" is?

The "mark" is a fixed point, questioning its existence denies you of seeing it.

Ah Hah! Now I see it big hug , thank you blessed Poet for deeming me worthy of an explaination.
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