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#1
When you're wiping down the roses
drawn in chalk on your father's gravestone,
and red is bleeding down the hand
carved words your mother chose
to remember, do not allow the wind
to carry dust into your eyes.
"A hippopotamus is just a really cool opatamus."
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#2
Very effective, and not as simple as it first appears. For example, perhaps it was just the chalk that was red... no. I itch, very faintly, for a different word in place of "carry" but can't say exactly why or what would make an improvement. (And by the way, it could be chalk dust.. no.)
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#3
(06-15-2022, 06:58 AM)Wjames Wrote:  When you're wiping down the roses
drawn in chalk on your father's gravestone,
and red is bleeding down the hand
carved words your mother chose
to remember, do not allow the wind
to carry dust into your eyes.

Excellent.

I think "hand carved" should be "hand-carved", yes?  So it will need to go on the same line as well as being hyphenated (even if it's not hyphenated, it seems awkward to me on separate lines).
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